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Quote from Leonard in the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Colonel Williams: Just wanted to see how the guidance system's coming along.
Howard: Great. We found a cooling solution that allowed us to get the size of the prototype down to the target specs.
Leonard: As a cooling solution, it's pretty cool.
Colonel Williams: Don't do that.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Separation Agitation

Sheldon: Who's ready to laugh? [Leonard groans] Okay. So Feynman, Einstein and Schrodinger walk into a bar. Feynman says, "It appears we're inside a joke." Einstein replies, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously." To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking in the window, I'm leaving."
Leonard: [chuckles] That's actually funny.
Raj: You should send that to Jimmy Fallon.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Amy: Do you need anything else?
Sheldon: You know exactly what I need.
Amy: Fine. [sings and plays autoharp] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
Sheldon: That's nice. Now in German.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Weiches Kätzchen, warmes Kätzchen, das nie und nimmer murrt. Liebes Kätzchen, müdes Kätzchen, schnurrt, schnurrt, schnurrt.
Sheldon: Great. Now Mandarin.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Ruǎnmiánmián de xiǎo māomī máoróngrōng, kuàilè kēshuì qīngqiǎo māomī, gūlǔ gūlǔ gūlǔ.
Sheldon: Now Navajo.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Amy. *knock knock knock* Amy. *knock knock knock* Amy.
[Amy opens the door. Sheldon is on one knee, holding out an engagement ring]
Sheldon: Will you marry me?

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Penny: Do they know why the pipes burst?
Amy: They didn't say.
Leonard: Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanized steel are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in the water. Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Ramona Nowitzki: Hey, did you eat yet?
Sheldon: Uh, breakfast yes, lunch no. I did have a cough drop, but that really rides the line between sucking and eating.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: That was fun. It was like Mario Kart.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: That may be true, but Dr. Nowitzki's just a friend. In fact, I wouldn't have even noticed she's a woman if she hadn't worn that bathing suit that highlighted her bosom.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: All right. What do you think is happening?
Sheldon: I think Dr. Nowitzki is a friendly colleague. I think you and Leonard need to see a marriage counselor. And I need to update my rsum to include swimming as a special skill.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: We need to talk.
Sheldon: Wh-- Is this about Leonard and Amy? I don't like it either.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: What is Leonard doing calling you at this hour?
Amy: It's not important.
Sheldon: I must tell you, that seems a little inappropriate. Don't you agree?
Ramona Nowitzki: I do.
Sheldon: See? We both think so.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: We're being ridiculous. There's no way a woman that attractive is trying to seduce Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: You done trying to make yourself feel better?
Raj: No. I haven't played the race card yet.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Will you go with me?
Bernadette: To do what? Shake a can of nickels at them?

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: All right, this is making me crazy. Somebody's got to go over there.
Leonard: You got feet and legs, you do it.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: Hey, I hate to break up the party, but Amy says I'm tired and have to go to bed.

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