Season 3 Quotes Page 1 of 42

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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz in the episode The Staircase Implementation

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, are you having a playdate?
Howard: I don't have playdates. I have colleagues.
Mrs. Wolowitz Do their parents know they're here?
Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you.

Quote from Zack Johnson in the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: How can you bounce a laser off the moon if there's no gravity?

Quote from Wil Wheaton in the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Wil Wheaton: Hey look, they named their team after me!

Quote from Zack Johnson in the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Sheldon: One ring to rule them all.
Rajesh: One ring to find them.
Wolowitz: One ring to bring them all.
Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.
Rajesh: Holy crap are we nerdy!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Bozeman Reaction

*Sheldon is using a map of the U.S. to find out where he can move*
Sheldon: Penny, you're from Nebraska, right?
Penny: Born and raised.
*Sheldon crosses out Nebraska*

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Raj: I'm going to be deported. Sent home in disgrace. Exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay or, as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Raj: Hey, Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah?
Raj: I haven't had sex in a year.
Leonard: Where are you going with this, Raj?
Raj: Don't flatter yourself, dude.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Pants Alternative

Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriously?
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king.
Leonard: I hate my name. It has 'nerd' in it. 'Len. Nerd.'
Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie.
Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. At first.

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