Penny: Then I'll return the favor and I won't tell...
Laura: Laura-
Penny: Laura that half the dirty movies you own are animated.

Leonard: Oh, hey. You work the lunch shift?
Penny: Yeah. I've got eight pounds of salmon that's about to go bad. Do you know how to cook it?
Leonard: Not really.
Penny: Damn it. Should have liberated the iffy chicken.

Sheldon: [inside the apartment] Oh, dear Lord, get away from me, you monster!
Penny: [in the hallway] What is that about?
Leonard: Well, he's smart and crazy enough, he may have actually created a monster.

Penny: Oh, hey, if we hurry, we can make the new Jennifer Aniston movie.
Leonard: Oh, yeah, sure. There's also an amazing documentary about building a dam on river in South America.
Penny: Okay, but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston, and she's not building a dam.

Leonard: Does this sound familiar? I'd love to go shoe shopping with you. Hiking? It's great. It's two a.m., of course I want to go to Korea Town and sing karaoke with your friends. Who wouldn't?
Penny: Okay, we were going out. You were going to get sex anyway.
Leonard: Really? You would have slept with me after a three-hour documentary on dams?
Penny: No. No woman would.

Leonard: See? Now, that's the great thing. We're out as friends. This is not a date. Sex is off the table. So, let's go learn why hydroelectric power might not be the environmental bargain you think it is. Sorry. Spoiler alert.

Sheldon: This would go a lot faster if you put your trade school diploma to work and helped me set up this high frequency tone generator.
Howard: I have a Masters degree from M.I.T.
Sheldon: Yeah, but you've got a can-do attitude and that's what's important.

Sheldon: Age seven, a blood-thirsty chicken chases me up a tree. Age twelve, a magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth. Age sixteen, a parrot in a pet store called me fat ass. Need I go on?
Raj: Yes, please. This is way better than the movie.

Leonard: Come on, you enjoyed the movie. I saw you tearing up when the village got flooded, and everyone had to relocate.
Penny: No, I was thinking how come they get to leave and I can't.

Leonard: I'm going to get some fries. You want anything?
Penny: Uh, no, thanks.
Leonard: Are you sure? Because you always say no, and then you eat half my fries.
Penny: I just eat the little crispy ones you don't like.
Leonard: No, I love them. I save them for the end, but they're gone because you ate them. And why did I let you eat them?
Penny: To get sex.
Leonard: Exactly.
Penny: All right, I'd like an order of fries.
Leonard: Great. That'll be five dollars. I am having the best time. I'm so glad you suggested we do this.

Leonard: You're going out of your way to talk to that guy because I said we weren't on a date.
Penny: No, I'm talking to him because hes cute.
Leonard: Come on, he's not that cute.
Penny: Yes, he is. With his dorky T-shirt and his little hipster glasses.
Leonard: I wear dorky T-shirts and glasses.
Penny: Yes, but when you're tall and have great cheekbones, you're doing it ironically.

Sheldon: You're biologists. Biology is the study of living things. That's a living thing, get cracking.
Bernadette: I specialize in microorganisms, and Amy studies brains.
Amy: Yeah, neither of us minored in bird-shooing.
Sheldon: Oh, come now. Your undergraduate work must have included a varmints and critters class.

Amy: Sheldon, the only way to get past this fear is to interact with it. Just like you did with the mailman.

Sheldon: Every year tens of people around the world are killed by birds. I'm not going to be another statistic.

Leonard: When you were telling Kevin about your acting career, did you mention your long-running role as Waitress in a local production of The Cheesecake Factory?