Mrs. Koothrapalli: Hello, Rajesh. What a nice surprise.
Raj: Well, I've been thinking about you. How are you doing? Are you happy, Mummy?
Mrs. Koothrapalli: Such a sweet boy for asking. Cant believe you come from the poison seed of your father.

Sheldon: Oh, and here's a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree.
Beverly Hofstadter: You don't look very happy.
Sheldon: Well, I had just begun puberty. It was figuratively and literally one of the hairiest moments of my life.

Howard: It's time for me to act like an adult in this marriage. Starting with my husbandly duty of taking out the trash.
*garbage falls out of the bottom of bag*
Bernie, I made a mess!

Leonard: See this right here. What you're doing. Can you please not do that around Sheldon's mom?
Beverly Hofstadter: Why, are you attracted to her, too?

Penny: Um, I'm free tonight.
Leonard: Are you saying you want to get married?
Penny: Vegas isn't that far away.
Leonard: I'm in. Let's do it.

Bernadette: So what are you working on these days?
Amy: I'm studying one-celled organisms to try and find the neurochemicals that lead to the feeling of shame.
Bernadette: What would a one-celled organism have to feel ashamed about?
Penny: Same as all of us. Getting out of a car without underwear.

Sheldon: Of course it's not a big deal to you. You idolize me and nothing could knock me off that pedestal you put me on.
Leonard: It's true. You are a God to me.

Mrs. Koothrappali: Well, however much money your father was giving you, I'll give you more.
Raj: Thank you, Mummy! I love you! *to Sheldon and Howard* Helicopters for everybody!

Sheldon: I was the nation's smartest caterpillar and after pupating in our nation's railway system, I have burst forth as the world's smartest butterfly.

Sheldon: Boy, some people are just glass-half-empty.
Leonard: The glass is empty, Sheldon. It's completely empty. If you gave that glass to a man who was dying of thirst, he would be dead. Do you know why?
Sheldon: Before I answer, was he a smoker?

Sheldon: Here are some topics that interest me. Quantum mechanics, trains, flags--
Penny: No, no, it's about my acting career.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, that's not on the list.

Sheldon: No, I'm not okay. I'm wearing borrowed pants, I don't have ID, and one of the officers here won't stop calling me chicken legs.

Penny: "So instead she asked if in the future Montana ever became a state."
Amy: Hey, in the 1800s that was considered flirting.