Popular Quotes Page 1 of 88
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Leonard: There you go.
Quote from the episode Pilot
Leonard: Our children will be smart and beautiful!
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
Amy: Jewelry?! Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met! Do you really think another transparently manipulative- ohh, it's a tiara!
Amy:Ohhhhhh, it's a tiara! A tiara! I got a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.
Penny: You look beautiful!
Amy: Of course I do, I'm a princess and this is my tiara!
Penny: What do you mean 'new roommate'? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: Same thing that happened to 'Homo Erectus'. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town...
Howard: Okay, give me the flowers and pie.
Sheldon: But if we show up and you're holding them, she'll think they're only from you.
Howard: They are only from me. You said the gift of you was enough.
Sheldon: Yes, but now that I've seen what the gift of me with flowers and pie looks like there's no going back.
Sheldon: What are the sleeping arrangements? We've only been dating for three years. If we were to share a room people might talk.
Amy: I don't need your medicine. I'm not really sick. I got better two days ago.
Bernadette: I don't understand.
Amy: It's been so nice having Sheldon take care of me, I just wanted that to last longer.
Bernadette: You should tell him.
Amy: I know.
Sheldon: (From the other room) Amy! Are you strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow.
(Sheldon knocks on Penny's door three times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon: Penny. '(Knocks 3 times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon: Penny. (Knocks 3 times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Leonard: (To Sheldon) You're talking like a crazy person.
Mary: Actually, I had him tested as a child. Doctor says he's fine.
Sheldon: (To Leonard) Told ya.
Penny: Give my friend his stuff back.
Tod Zarnecki: I don't know what you're talking about.
Penny: Well then good news! Today's the day a girl's finally going to touch you in your little special place. *Kicks him in the groin*
*Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese*.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die.
Amy: Did you hold the baby?
Sheldon: I did.
Amy: And how did it make you feel?
Sheldon: Looking into the blank, innocent eyes of a creature that couldn't begin to comprehend anything I was saying ... basically another day at the office.
Amy: I think a boy likes me!
Bernadette: Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Penny: She doesn't have a boyfriend, she has a Sheldon.
Bernadette: I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.
Howard: Why should I do something nice for you?
Sheldon: To go to Jewish heaven.
Howard: Jews don't have heaven
Sheldon: To avoid Jewish Hell?
Howard: Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish Hell
Raj: My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!
*Wolowitz checks his Caller ID*.
Wolowitz: Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight. (answers) Hey, baby...
Penny: His right hand is calling him?
Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard? *knock knock knock* Leonard?
Leonard: *opens door* What Sheldon! What Sheldon! What Sheldon!
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here. (Holding his laptop.)
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation
Amy: I find the notion of romantic love an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.
(Sheldon smiles in a grotesque way).
Howard: Oh...... crap that's terrifying.
Nurse: *Lifts up towel* What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Nurse: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Nurse: Because that's all you needed, right?
Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: and potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.
Sheldon: *knocks three times* Amy, Bernadette, Penny. *repeats three times*
Bernadette: He's never going to stop doing that, is he?
Amy: I don't mind. I'm hoping to put his love of repetition to good use someday.
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