Popular Quotes Page 1 of 96
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
Raj: I've said this before and I'll say it again: Aquaman sucks!
Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.
Raj: We have to go over some ground rules about Emily.
Howard: Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, I don't say anything?
Raj: She's very real.
Howard: That's what it says on the box. Right next to dishwasher safe.
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Sheldon: Well, this is confusing for me. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. So, I will condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
Mary: That is very Christian of you.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.
Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?
Sheldon: I've changed. Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually, he doesn't realize he's boiling to death.
Penny: Or you're the frog who's been kissed by the princess and turned into a prince.
Leonard: Or you're just a tall, annoying frog.
Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your ken can kiss my barbie.
Professor Proton: Can I ask you a question?
Leonard: Yeah, sure.
Professor Proton: Why do you put up with Sheldon?
Leonard: Oh, you know because we're friends.
Professor Proton: Why?
Leonard: Wow, you ask really hard questions. Look, I know he can be aggravating, but what you have to remember is he's not doing it on purpose, it's just how he is. But he's also loyal and trustworthy and we have fun together.
Professor Proton: You know you're describing a dog?
Leonard: He did bite me once. But in his defense, I came up behind him while he was eating.
Professor Proton: They hate that.
Leonard: Sheldon is the smartest person I have met. He's a little broken and he needs me. And I guess I need him too.
Professor Proton: Why is that?
Leonard: Boy, you will not let this go, will you?
Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Leonard: There you go.
Amy: Jewelry?! Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met! Do you really think another transparently manipulative- ohh, it's a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.
Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Howard: Why should I do something nice for you?
Sheldon: To go to Jewish heaven.
Howard: Jews don't have heaven.
Sheldon: To avoid Jewish hell?
Howard: Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell.
Jesse: You're back.
Bernadette: *Angry voice* Yes, I am. There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine. And he's a much nicer person than you are. And if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jesse: No problem. Want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No, I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jesse: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better!
Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
Sheldon: I believe in a gender blind society like in Star Trek. Where women and men of all races and creeds worked side-by-side as equals.
Leonard: You mean where they were advanced enough to develop an interstellar warp drive, but a black lady still answered the space phone?
(Sheldon knocks on Penny's door three times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon: Penny. '(Knocks 3 times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon: Penny. (Knocks 3 times)
Penny: Who do we love?
Penny: What do you mean 'new roommate'? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: Same thing that happened to 'Homo Erectus'. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town...
Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation
Amy: I find the notion of romantic love an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.
Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: and potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.
Penny: You look beautiful!
Amy: Of course I do, I'm a princess and this is my tiara!
Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition
Raj: My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!
Bernadette: Does your mother call you everyday to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me everyday to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.
Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die.
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