Popular Quotes Page 1 of 128

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

4.9

Quote from Amy in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Sheldon: I really did think you looked pretty.
Amy: You did?
Sheldon: Yes. So much so that I started to panic.
Amy: Well you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together.
Sheldon: Were you hoping we would because it's prom?
Amy: I'm always hoping. But tonight, I just wanted to have a nice time with you. Maybe dance with someone who has arms.

4.9

Quote from Howard in the episode The Relationship Diremption

Raj: We have to go over some ground rules about Emily.
Howard: Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, I don't say anything?
Raj: She's very real.
Howard: That's what it says on the box. Right next to dishwasher safe.

4.9

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

4.9

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: Well, this is confusing for me. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. So, I will condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
Mary: That is very Christian of you.

4.9

Quote from Raj in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Raj: Okay, here we go.
(To Leonard & Penny) Say cheese.
(To Sheldon & Amy) Say cheese.
(To Howard & Bernadette) Say cousin.

4.9

Quote from Howard in the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

4.9

Quote from Howard in the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

4.9

Quote from Howard in the episode The Tangerine Factor

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

4.9

Quote from Howard in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.

4.8

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

4.8

Quote from Raj in the episode The Hook-Up Reverberation

Howard: You know, when I was a kid I loved going there but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around, and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice! Like at parks and schools.
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Sheldon: Yes!
Leonard: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

4.8

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

4.8

Quote from Raj in the episode The Septum Deviation

Raj: I'm sorry I'm so late. I was on the phone with my mother.
Bernadette: How is she?
Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love", and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.

4.8

Quote from Amy in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Sheldon: Thank you for understanding.
Amy: Of course I understand. Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just. I want you to know you don't have to say it back. I know you're not ready and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates -
Sheldon: I love you, too.
Amy: You said it.

4.8

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Sheldon: I'm not insane. My mother had me tested!

4.8

Quote from Amy in the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Penny: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?
Amy: Yeah, but it's okay.
Penny: How is it okay?
Amy: I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.

4.8

Quote from Amy in the episode The Champagne Reflection

Amy: Sheldon, that was beautiful.
Sheldon: If you didn't press record-
Amy: I pressed it!

4.8

Quote from Penny in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.

4.8

Quote from Raj in the episode The Santa Simulation

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

4.8

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Leonard: To Mrs. Wolowitz. A loving mother. To all of us. We'll miss you.

4.8

Quote from Amy in the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Amy: As my mom used to say, "When you're doing a puzzle, it's like you've got a thousand friends." She was full of fun lies like that.

4.8

Quote from Amy in the episode The Proton Transmogrification

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

4.8

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in a corner of a barn somewhere.

4.8

Quote from Howard in the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Sheldon: You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I can do that again.

4.8

Quote from Howard in the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: Aren't you gonna come with me?
Howard: While you confront your mother about your sex life? I'd rather go back to that bar in assless chaps.

4.8

Quote from Raj in the episode The Justice League Recombination

Raj: I've said this before and I'll say it again: Aquaman sucks!

4.8

Quote from Howard in the episode The Intimacy Acceleration

Howard: Your entire job is to find lost luggage and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet Earth?

4.8

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Bernadette: Are you okay?
Raj: No, I'm not okay. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.
Bernadette: I told you not to wax down there. It's itchy when it grows back.

4.8

Quote from Amy in the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Amy: You better watch that attitude, buddy. You're dating the popular girl now.

4.8

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