Popular Quotes Page 1 of 292

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: Well, this is confusing for me. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. So, I will condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
Mary: That is very Christian of you.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Tangerine Factor

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Graduation Transmission

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practising your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Penny: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?
Amy: Yeah, but it's okay.
Penny: How is it okay?
Amy: I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Extract Obliteration

Leonard: I did a bad thing.
Sheldon: Does it affect me?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Cooper Extraction

Raj: (To Amy) If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: If he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Colonization Application

Howard: How are the taxes going?
Bernadette: Okay, but you've got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here.
Howard: Those are business expenses. You can write those off.
Bernadette: A $200 R2-D2 is a business expense?
Howard: Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Quote from Amy in the episode The Champagne Reflection

Amy: Sheldon, that was beautiful.
Sheldon: If you didn't press record-
Amy: I pressed it!

Quote from Raj in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Raj: Okay, here we go.
(To Leonard & Penny) Say cheese.
(To Sheldon & Amy) Say cheese.
(To Howard & Bernadette) Say cousin.

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