The Big Bang Theory - Popular Quotes

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Leonard: What got into him?
Penny: Oh, a couple of virgin Cuba Libres who turned out to be a little slutty.
Leonard: You didn't.
Penny: You do your little experiments, I do mine.

*Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese*.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'

Penny: I give up. He's impossible!
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.

Leonard: How could you just sit there and let them spy on me!?
Sheldon: They were very smart! They used my complete lack of interest in what you are doing.

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!

*In tattoo salon*.
Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj?
Raj: With my luck - Hepatitis!