Popular Quotes Page 1 of 204
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Sheldon: Well, this is confusing for me. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. So, I will condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
Mary: That is very Christian of you.
Raj: Okay, here we go.
(To Leonard & Penny) Say cheese.
(To Sheldon & Amy) Say cheese.
(To Howard & Bernadette) Say cousin.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.
Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.
Sheldon: I really did think you looked pretty.
Amy: You did?
Sheldon: Yes. So much so that I started to panic.
Amy: Well you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together.
Sheldon: Were you hoping we would because it's prom?
Amy: I'm always hoping. But tonight, I just wanted to have a nice time with you. Maybe dance with someone who has arms.
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Sheldon: Thank you for understanding.
Amy: Of course I understand. Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just. I want you to know you don't have to say it back. I know you're not ready and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates -
Sheldon: I love you, too.
Amy: You said it.
Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?
Sheldon: May I say something?
Leonard: Not right now, Sheldon.
Sheldon: But I think it may be comforting.
Howard: No, it's okay. What?
Sheldon: When I lost my own father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Raj: I'm sorry I'm so late. I was on the phone with my mother.
Bernadette: How is she?
Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love", and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.
Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?
Sheldon: I'm not insane. My mother had me tested!
Penny: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?
Amy: Yeah, but it's okay.
Penny: How is it okay?
Amy: I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.
Amy: Sheldon, that was beautiful.
Sheldon: If you didn't press record-
Amy: I pressed it!
Howard: You know, when I was a kid I loved going there but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around, and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice! Like at parks and schools.
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Leonard: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!
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