Popular Quotes Page 388 of 394
Penny: He just doesn't know he wants one because he's never had one.
Howard: I suppose that's possible, but for the record, I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one.
Leonard: Look, I am in the Halo battle of my life here. There's this kid in Copenhagen. He has no immune system so all he does is sit in his bubble and play Halo 24/7.
Howard: Can't you play him some other time?
Leonard: Not if you believe his doctors.
Leonard: Here you go, Copenhagen boy, how about a taste of Hans Christian Hand Grenade.
Shopper: Excuse me, do you know anything about this stuff?
Sheldon: I know everything about this stuff.
Shopper: Which hard drive do I want? Firewire or USB?
Sheldon: It depends on what Bus you have.
Shopper: I drive a Chevy Cavalier.
Sheldon: Oh my God.
Leonard: Say what you will about the healthcare system in this country, but when they're afraid of lawsuits they sure test everything.
Howard: I really don't think the colonoscopy was necessary.
Sheldon: You just lied to Penny.
Leonard: Yes, I did.
Sheldon: And you did it so casually. No rapid breathing, no increase in perspiration.
Sheldon: So, lack of physiological response while lying is a characteristic of a violent sociopath.
Leonard: Sheldon, are you worried about your safety?
Sheldon: No. I imagine if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it a long time ago.
Howard: Wait a minute, Farminfarmian is speaking and you're bogarting the symposium?
Leonard: Howard, I'm sorry. We're-
Howard: No, no. You're quark-blocking us.
Leonard: Hey, why don't you tell me about your showcase last night?
Penny: Oh, it was okay, I guess. Wasn't a big turnout, but they both really seemed to like it.
Leonard: There were only two people there?
Penny: By the end, yeah.
Leonard: See, the liquid metal Terminators were created in the future by Skynet, and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson, but that future no longer exists due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2.
Sheldon: Okay, then riddle me this. Assuming all the good Terminators were originally evil Terminators created by Skynet but then reprogrammed by the future John Connor, why would Skynet, an artificial computer intelligence, bother to create a petite hot 17 year-old killer robot?
Leonard: Skynet is kinky? I don't know.
Sheldon: Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes.
Penny: Alright, remember when I auditioned for that workshop production of Rent, but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why?
Sheldon: I have a conclusion based on an observation.
Leonard: No you don't. No he doesn't.
Sheldon: Never mind. I clearly woke you up in the middle of a REM cycle. You're in no state to talk.
Leonard: I couldn't say that. I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again."
Leonard: It's the social protocol. It's what you do when you have a friend who's proud of something they really suck at.
Sheldon: I was not aware of that.
Leonard: Well now you are.
Sheldon: Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come to your performance because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?
Penny: I remember symposium.
Sheldon: Yes, well, he lied.
Penny: Wait, what?
Sheldon: He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it.
Penny: Well imagine how I'm feeling.
Sheldon: Hungry? Tired? I'm sorry this really isn't my strong suit.
Leonard: You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied?
Sheldon: To help you.
Leonard: I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.
Sheldon: She was going to see through your lie eventually, so I told her that you were lying to protect me.
Leonard: Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling.
Sheldon: Hunger? Indigestion? I'm sorry. I'm really not very good at this.
Showing quotes 5806 to 5820 of 5,896