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Quote from Penny in the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: What is that?
Raj: Wow, it's an antique sextant. Sailors used these to find their position by the stars.
Amy: What a nice gift for an astrophysicist.
Raj: I know, she's so thoughtful.
Penny: See, she's trying to get you back. Now, that is exactly what I would've gotten you if I had any idea what it is or what you do.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Application Deterioration

Raj: You know, I have too much self-esteem to let this girl guilt me into getting back together with her.
Amy: You don't need to be pregnant to smell that load of crap.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Application Deterioration

Leonard: Well, what if we go around the university and just get the patent ourselves?
Howard: We can't. It says on their web site, as long as we work there, they have a controlling ownership of anything we come up with.
Sheldon: Great, so they own my idea for a T-shirt that says "Dumb as a Bag of Geologists."

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Application Deterioration

Leonard: Well, our choices are we do this with the university or we don't do it at all.
Howard: Either way, I get nothing.
Leonard: Or, if we ended up making money from this, Sheldon and I could split our shares with you.
Sheldon: To be clear, Leonard is referring to the gyroscope, not the T-shirt and mugs.
Oh, now they own the mugs!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: You guys would be cool doing it like that?
Leonard: Of course, we can split any profits three ways.
Sheldon: I'm fine with that.
Howard: Okay, great.
Sheldon: It sounds like a, uh, contract might be in order.
Leonard: Sure, we could write something up.
Sheldon: But which one of us should be the party who-
Howard: You can do it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: (excitedly) So stipulated!
Leonard: Once I found a stash of contracts under his bed. It was weird.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: I wonder how much she spent on this.
Amy: Ooh, let's find out.
Raj: It doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. Beauty's on the inside, size doesn't matter - how much did she spend?

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Application Deterioration

Raj: Seriously, guys, I don't want to know.
Amy: Oh, my.
Raj: Oh, come on, you can't say "Oh, my!" and then not tell me!
Amy: These things go for $500 and up.
Bernadette: Damn! All I got for Valentine's Day was a postcard saying my Vermont Teddy Bear was back-ordered.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Application Deterioration

Penny: Okay, so, she drops off a $500 gift and she's not trying to get back together with you?
Raj: Maybe you're right.
Bernadette: Or she's telling the truth and just being nice.
Raj: Maybe you're right. Wow, I am easy to manipulate.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Application Deterioration

Raj: Oh, guys, it's Emily. What should I do?
Penny: Okay, answer it. Just be strong. And if she starts to cry, don't make any promises. And most importantly, put it on speaker so we can hear.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: This contract looks good to me.
Sheldon: I'll say it looks good. It's in my proprietary font, Shelvetica.
Leonard: I want to say something obnoxious, but it is easy on the eyes.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: I'm a little tired, Howie. You ready to go?
Howard: Yeah, one sec. I just need to sign this contract.
Bernadette: What is it?
Howard: Well, we ran into a problem about my share of the patent, so we're forming a partnership to split anything we make equally.
Penny: Sheldon, did you draft the contract?
Sheldon: You bet I did.
Penny: Ooh. (To Amy) You're gonna make out so hard tonight!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: So, you're just gonna sign this without having a lawyer look at it?
Sheldon: Excuse me. I've been drafting contracts since kindergarten. Didn't need a lawyer to get me out of finger painting. Don't need one now.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Application Deterioration

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: If she doesn't think that we should apply for this patent, she's being patently absurd.
Leonard: Good one.
Sheldon: Okay, you got it. See, I was afraid it was a thinker.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: What are you doing?
Bernadette: I just want to make sure you've thought this through.
Howard: What's to think about? We have an invention and want to move forward.
Bernadette: Howie, you're about to form a legal partnership with Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: All right, if you're gonna calmly make excellent points, then I don't know if I want to talk to you.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: Okay, I get it. And it's sweet that you're worried about me, but I can take care of myself.
Bernadette: I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me. I don't want to go through this pregnancy listening to you complain about Sheldon driving you crazy more than you already do.
Howard: Oh, here we go with the ironclad logic again.

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