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Quote from Howard in the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: "Article three: As it pertains to this project, Dr. Sheldon Cooper promises to abstain from all insulting or disrespectful language directed toward Howard Wolowitz, including but not limited to: mockery of engineering, his height, his hair, his wardrobe, and his insane belief that the Ghost Rider movie was, quote, 'not that bad'."

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Application Deterioration

Penny: Wait, wait, wait. What are these changes on page six?
Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Howard: I should've known.
Bernadette: "25% of profits due to Sheldon Cooper will be allocated to a scholarship fund for the firstborn child of Howard and Bernadette Wolowitz." Sheldon, that's so nice.
Leonard: That beats the onesie I was gonna get them from Baby Gap.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: That's very generous, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, I've always valued education over money. And the very fact that you needed a written guarantee of respect made me realize how dismissive I've been of your contributions.
Howard: I appreciate that.
Sheldon: And I just hope that this scholarship can rescue your child from the sub-par education and menial life of an engineer.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: What? I didn't sign it yet.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Penny: Well, where is he?
Amy: Sheldon?
Leonard: I'll check his room.
Sheldon: Surprise!
Penny: Oh, my God!
Sheldon: Just one example of how birthdays can be terrible. Now, can we please drop this subject and pick a new one? Yeah, I suggest "how thick can a soup get before it becomes a stew?" You know, the answer, it may surprise you.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Amy: Can you please just tell me why?
Sheldon: Fine. As you know, I have a twin sister with whom I obviously share a birthday. Every year we'd have a party. No one I invited would ever come, because they didn't like me.
Amy: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Oh, that part wasn't so bad. I didn't like them, either. But then I'd inevitably spend the whole day being tortured by my sister's friends.
Penny: Oh, you poor thing.
Sheldon: When I was six, they told me Batman was coming to my party. I waited by the door for hours. Closest thing to Batman I saw was when a robin flew into the window.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Sheldon: Is there a reason I had to leave my own apartment?
Amy: Well, I think they just want you to see it for the first time all decorated.
Sheldon: But who's gonna tell them they're doing it wrong?
Amy: Well, I'm sure they'll ask you to give a speech, and that's when you just tear 'em a new one.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Amy: Are you all right?
Sheldon: No, I just I got a little light-headed.
Amy: Oh, d-do you need a minute?
Sheldon: No. No, if I can walk past that pet shop with the parrot in the window, I suppose I can do this.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Leonard: Okay, I'd better go in there and talk to him.
Amy: Well, don't you think I'm the one who should go in?
Leonard: No offense, but I've known the guy a really long time.
Amy: Well, I've, you know, seen him without pants on.
Leonard: Again, no offense, but so have I.
Amy: Well, he's seen me without pants on.
Leonard: Again, -
Penny: Okay, this is ridiculous.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Raj: And it was Gandhi who said, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. œLearn as if you were to live forever."
Sheldon: And it was Sheldon Cooper who said "Let's speed this up. A lot of people want to talk."

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Adam West: So, who's taking me home?

Quote from Raj in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Leonard: Ready to play when you are.
Howard: Yeah, um, in a minute. I actually need to tell you guys something.
Raj: If it's "thank you" for the homemade jam you got in December, congratulations, you're the first one.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Bernadette: Sorry, hormones.
Penny: Oh, that's all right. All I heard was "skinny."

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Valentino Submergence

Raj: No, Sheldon's right. Emily did say I always talk about my feelings too much.
Sheldon: I suppose that could be a legitimate concern in a relationship. Uh, perhaps even a red flag. And speaking of red flags, check out this sexy number from the former Soviet Union. Hubba, hubba.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Valentino Submergence

Penny: I was just hungry and cranky, and I've never been called "ma'am" before.
Leonard: Is that a big deal?
Penny: Kind of. When was the first time someone called you "sir"?
Leonard: Sixth grade, but I wore a sport coat and carried a briefcase, so...

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Valentino Submergence

Penny: Can you believe when I met you I was 22? I mean, it's crazy! Where did all that time go?
Leonard: Mmm, you watched The Bachelor a lot.
Penny: Yeah, go ahead and make jokes, but your thirties are almost over.
Leonard: No, they're not.
Penny: You're closer to 40 than you are 30.
Leonard: Ha, ha! You married an old man.

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