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Quote from Amy in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Sheldon: Is there a reason I had to leave my own apartment?
Amy: Well, I think they just want you to see it for the first time all decorated.
Sheldon: But who's gonna tell them they're doing it wrong?
Amy: Well, I'm sure they'll ask you to give a speech, and that's when you just tear 'em a new one.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Amy: Are you all right?
Sheldon: No, I just I got a little light-headed.
Amy: Oh, d-do you need a minute?
Sheldon: No. No, if I can walk past that pet shop with the parrot in the window, I suppose I can do this.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Leonard: Okay, I'd better go in there and talk to him.
Amy: Well, don't you think I'm the one who should go in?
Leonard: No offense, but I've known the guy a really long time.
Amy: Well, I've, you know, seen him without pants on.
Leonard: Again, no offense, but so have I.
Amy: Well, he's seen me without pants on.
Leonard: Again, -
Penny: Okay, this is ridiculous.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Raj: And it was Gandhi who said, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. œLearn as if you were to live forever."
Sheldon: And it was Sheldon Cooper who said "Let's speed this up. A lot of people want to talk."

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Adam West: So, who's taking me home?

Quote from Raj in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Leonard: Ready to play when you are.
Howard: Yeah, um, in a minute. I actually need to tell you guys something.
Raj: If it's "thank you" for the homemade jam you got in December, congratulations, you're the first one.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Bernadette: Sorry, hormones.
Penny: Oh, that's all right. All I heard was "skinny."

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Valentino Submergence

Raj: No, Sheldon's right. Emily did say I always talk about my feelings too much.
Sheldon: I suppose that could be a legitimate concern in a relationship. Uh, perhaps even a red flag. And speaking of red flags, check out this sexy number from the former Soviet Union. Hubba, hubba.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Valentino Submergence

Penny: I was just hungry and cranky, and I've never been called "ma'am" before.
Leonard: Is that a big deal?
Penny: Kind of. When was the first time someone called you "sir"?
Leonard: Sixth grade, but I wore a sport coat and carried a briefcase, so...

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Valentino Submergence

Penny: Can you believe when I met you I was 22? I mean, it's crazy! Where did all that time go?
Leonard: Mmm, you watched The Bachelor a lot.
Penny: Yeah, go ahead and make jokes, but your thirties are almost over.
Leonard: No, they're not.
Penny: You're closer to 40 than you are 30.
Leonard: Ha, ha! You married an old man.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Valentino Submergence

Leonard: Let's see. What's young and fun? Uh, we could go dancing.
Penny: Are you actually gonna dance? Of course.
Penny: Yeah, no one wants to see that. Hey, how about skinny dipping at the beach?
Leonard: No, I don't need any fish nibbling my business.
Penny: Oh, there's a screening of Moulin Rouge! I heard the crowd sings along and stuff.
Leonard: That sounds fun. When's it start?
Penny: Midnight.
Leonard: Midnight, really? You know what? Let's do it.
Penny: Okay, great! Oh, wait. Uh, it's sold out.
Leonard: Oh, thank God.
Penny: Yes!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Oh, hello, everyone. I am happy to report I'm feeling much better.
Leonard: Good for you.
Sheldon: My fever is gone, my sinuses are pressure-free, and my mucus is as clear as a Yosemite waterfall.
Howard: Glad to hear it.
Sheldon: I'll be able to return to work tomorrow.
Raj: Yay.
Sheldon: Well, why isn't everyone happy? Your little ray of sunshine is ready to beam again.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Penny: You really don't know why?
Sheldon: No. But I knew that his "yay" was sarcastic. Not bad for a guy whose last bowel movement sounded like rain on a roof.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Raj: Sheldon, stop being a baby and let Emily take a look at you.
Sheldon: She's a dermatologist.
Emily: I went to medical school.
Sheldon: Well, in that case, try removing the irritating patch of brown skin standing next to you.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Leonard: All right, here you go.
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm dying.
Leonard: You're not dying. It's just the flu.
Sheldon: I asked for chicken noodle. This is chicken and stars. It's killing me.

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