Popular Quotes Page 391 of 397
Sheldon: Never mind. I clearly woke you up in the middle of a REM cycle. You're in no state to talk.
Leonard: I couldn't say that. I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again."
Leonard: It's the social protocol. It's what you do when you have a friend who's proud of something they really suck at.
Sheldon: I was not aware of that.
Leonard: Well now you are.
Sheldon: Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come to your performance because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?
Penny: I remember symposium.
Sheldon: Yes, well, he lied.
Penny: Wait, what?
Sheldon: He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it.
Penny: Well imagine how I'm feeling.
Sheldon: Hungry? Tired? I'm sorry this really isn't my strong suit.
Leonard: You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied?
Sheldon: To help you.
Leonard: I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.
Sheldon: She was going to see through your lie eventually, so I told her that you were lying to protect me.
Leonard: Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling.
Sheldon: Hunger? Indigestion? I'm sorry. I'm really not very good at this.
Sheldon: Anyway, Penny now believes that on Friday night, we're going to participate in my cousin Leopold's drug intervention.
Leonard: Your cousin Leopold?
Sheldon: Yea, who most people call Leo, but he also answers to Lee. Remember that, it's important.
Leonard: What's important?
Sheldon: Details, Leonard. The success or failure of our deceitful enterprise turns on details.
Leonard: Okay. Why would I go to a drug intervention for your cousin?
Sheldon: Ah, because it's in Long Beach, and I don't drive.
Leonard: We're going to Long Beach?
Sheldon: No, of course not. Theres no cousin Leo, theres no intervention. Focus, Leonard.
Sheldon: We just leave the house on Friday night, and we return in the wee hours emotionally wrung out from the work of convincing Leo to go back into rehab.
Leonard: So he goes back into rehab?
Sheldon: Yes. But he can relapse if Penny ever invites us to go hear her sing again.
Leonard: You still told her I lied.
Sheldon: For a noble purpose, to spare me the social embarrassment of having a drug-addled first cousin, which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes?
Leonard: I don't know. How am I supposed to remember all of this?
Sheldon: That's the best part. You don't have to. See, I told Penny that you would be embarrassed if you knew that she found out that you had lied. So she's agreed to operate as if the original lie was still in force.
Leonard: So she's expecting me to lie about going to a symposium in Pasadena, when in actuality we're pretending to go to a drug intervention in Long Beach?
Penny: Thanks. I just wanted to come by and wish you guys luck with your symposium.
Leonard: Oh, well, thank you.
Penny: You know, I got to tell you, a lot of friends would let their friend go alone, but that's not who you are. You are the kind of guy who stands by a friend when ... when he has a symposium to go to.
Leonard: I don't know what to say.
Howard: No, it's okay, it's your Millenium Falcon. You and Chewbacca do whatever you want to do. Me and Princess Leia here will find some other way to spend the evening.
Howard: So, road trip to Long Beach.
Leonard: No, we're not going to Long Beach.
Raj: Why not?
Leonard: Because Sheldon doesn't have a drug addicted cousin Leopold.
Raj: Oh, too bad. I've always wanted to go to Long Beach.
Sheldon: It's a very nice community. The Queen Mary is docked there. Once the largest ocean liner in the world, it's now a hotel and restaurant where they host a surprisingly gripping murder mystery dinner.
Raj: Sounds fun.
Sheldon: I've been doing some research on addiction, both the biochemical and behavioral aspects, and I think there's a problem with the current version of our lie.
Leonard: What are you talking about? It's fine. She bought it. It's over.
Sheldon: Sadly, it's not. Substance abuse is a lifelong struggle, but beyond that I have realized that the Leo I described would not have agreed to go to rehab.
Leonard: Why not?
Sheldon: Because Leo is a middle child.
Leonard: There is no Leo. How can you say that?
Sheldon: You didn't read the bio, did you? He's not just a middle child, he's the quintessential middle child, from a broken home to boot. Psychologically speaking, the attention he gets by rebelling even to the point of self-destruction is more emotionally valuable than the help he would get at rehab.
Leonard: I've got a solution.
Sheldon: Great, what is it?
Leonard: Get out.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, Leonard. This is Toby Loobenfeld. He's a research assistant in the particle physics lab, but he also minored in theater at MIT.
Toby: It was more of a double major actually. Theater and physics. You can guess which one my bourgeois parents pushed me towards.
Leonard: Yeah, I got it.
Sheldon: No. We're going with middle child and a generic predisposition to inadequate serotonin production.
Toby: Swell, how do I play genetic predisposition?
Sheldon: Sub-textually, of course.
Penny: Hi. How did the intervention go?
Sheldon: Unfortunately, we weren't able to convince him to go to rehab.
Penny: Well, based on what you told me, I'm not surprised.
Leonard: Hey, why don't you tell me about your showcase last night?
Penny: Oh, it was okay I guess. Wasn't a big turn out, but they both really seemed to like it.
Leonard: There were only two people there?
Penny: By the end, yeah.
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