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Quote from Leonard in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Raj: I wish we could do more stuff without Sheldon.
Leonard: I wish that all the time. Usually before I blow out birthday candles.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Howard: You know, Amy took some time off from him. Really improved their relationship.
Raj: Huh. Okay. As long as it doesn't end with us having coitus with him, I'm in.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Oh, where are we going?
Leonard: Well, Vegas, but-
Sheldon: Ugh, Atlantic City without the taffy? No, thank you.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Oh, fine. Then I'll just hang out with Wolowitz.
Leonard: He's coming, too.
Sheldon: Well, then Raj and I will-
Leonard: Nope.
Sheldon: Very well. Stuart.
Leonard: Oh, great. Do that.
Sheldon: Ugh, Stuart.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Leonard, get ready for an apology. And with the added twist of an M. Night Shyamalan movie, I'm going to mean it.
Leonard: Ah, so like every other M. Night Shyamalan movie I've seen, you spoil it in advance.
Sheldon: Hey, if you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, that's not on me.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: All you did was offer maternal care and affection, and all you received in return was rude and insensitive behavior.
Penny: Can this wait?
Sheldon: I'm afraid it can't. The trip is tomorrow. And I have more apologies to make.
Penny: Okay, fine, I accept your apology, now get out!
Sheldon: Wonderful. would you mind holding up this shirt while I take a quick-
Penny: Leonard!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: You brought me my comic books when I wasn't feeling well. That was thoughtful.
And I was insensitive. I'm sorry.
Stuart: Thank you, Sheldon. I appreciate that.
Sheldon: And I want you to know that I mean it, you know? This isn't me just wanting to go on the trip to Las Vegas.
Stuart: What trip to Las Vegas?
Sheldon: The one everyone's taking this weekend on the party bus.
Stuart: Of course. I wasn't invited.
Sheldon: That would be my understanding. On a less painful subject, what size T-shirt do you take?

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Emily: Well, I don't accept your apology.
Raj: What are you doing?
Emily: It's called standing up for myself. You should try it some time.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Leonard: What are you doing?!
Sheldon: My plan was to jump out at the state line, but one of my nose plugs fell into the toilet.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Emily: You know, I know he's a jerk, but I actually feel bad for him.
Penny: And now you see the problem.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Bernadette: So, when are you thinking of moving?
Stuart: Uh, actually, I already found an apartment, so in a couple of days.
Bernadette: Oh, okay. Sorry to see you go?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Sheldon: Okay, back to me. I discovered an asteroid, and now I get to name it.
Raj: Wait, what happened to us?
Sheldon: Now, this isn't about us, this is about what's best for the asteroid.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Dr. Gallo: Got it.
Penny: Uh, do you have any questions?
Dr. Gallo: Just one. Mm-hmm? When you made your husband pretend to be a patient so you could get access to me, what were you thinking there?
Penny: I just meant a question about the drug.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Leonard: Is this what we're doing the rest of the night?
Sheldon: I'm surprised you have to ask.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Howard: So if you think that's creepy, you married the wrong guy.
Bernadette: Maybe I should marry Trent.
Raj: Yeah, like she could get Trent.

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