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Quote from Leonard in the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Penny: It's just so humiliating.
Leonard: "So humiliating?" Am I driving you to the Cheesecake factory or - I'm sorry, I'll stop. I'll stop.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Table Polarization

Sheldon: Think of me as Arthur Dent in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, lying in front of the bulldozers to protect his home.
Leonard: If you'll recall, the Vogon fleet blew up the Earth anyway.
Sheldon: It's a made up story, Leonard. I don't know why you're even talking about it.

Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Mike Massimino: You know how astronauts need to have the right stuff?
Howard: Sure.
Mike Massimino: The stuff you have is wrong.

Quote from Bert in the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bert: You know what, uh, geologists and Bon Jovi have in common?
Howard: You're both into rock?
Bert: Yeah.

Quote from Bert in the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bert: So, anyway, there's this big, uh, rock and mineral show next week in Santa Monica.
Amy: Listen, um, Bert, before you say anything else, I- I have a boyfriend.
Bert: Oh. This is awkward. You thought I was gonna ask you to go with me to the mineral show.
Amy: Weren't you?
Bert: Yeah.

Quote from Bert in the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Amy: That's very nice of you, but I do have a boyfriend.
Bert: That's what you all say. You just don't want to go out with me because I have an off-putting personality.
Amy: No, that's not true. My boyfriend has an off-putting personality, too. Like, way worse than you.
Bert: Don't worry. I'm used to it. I mean, I'm big and weird and funny-looking and no one ever wants to do anything with me.

Quote from Bert in the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bert: It's okay. I know I'm a monster.
Amy: No, Bert, come on. I'd love to go to the mineral show with you.
Bert: Sweet. It's a date. (Leaves Amy's office)
Amy: No, it's not.
Bert: Too late!

Quote from Bert in the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bert: Thanks for coming to the mineral and rock show with me.
Raj: Were sorry Amy didn't want to go.
Howard: Really, really sorry.
Bert: Eh. Who needs her when I have you guys? Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock sho-o-o-o-ow!

Quote from Raj in the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Howard: What's your part?
Penny: I play a customer in a diner and I flirt with Mark Harmon.
Raj: Ooh, Mark Harmon. He's a dreamboat.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Leonard: Hey, can we talk?
Penny: We can, but the part of Penny might get cut.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Cooper Extraction

Amy: Here's another one. Penny, if it weren't for Sheldon, you never would have met comic book legend Stan Lee.
Penny: Great.

Quote from Professor Proton in the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: So what prescription are you getting filled?
Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: No wait, I want to guess. Don't tell me.
Professor Proton: I wasn't going to tell you.

Quote from Professor Proton in the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: No, wait. I'm really good at this. Give me a hint. Does it involve difficulty initiating a stream of anything?
Professor Proton: Well, given my age, that's more than just a lucky guess.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Proton Displacement

Amy: Have you ever wondered why Arthur didn't want you to read his paper?
Sheldon: Yes, I have. And my only conclusion is the prescription he was picking up the other day was for cuckoo pills.

Quote from Professor Proton in the episode The Proton Displacement

Professor Proton: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's been pointed out by my girlfriend that I may have been annoying to you.
Professor Proton: She sounds like a keeper.

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