Amy: Hi, Dave. Uh, it's Amy.
Dave: Oh. How are you?
Amy: I'm fine. How are you?
Dave: Terrific. And pleasantly surprised to hear from you, given how I acted on our last date.
Amy: Yeah, well, we both made mistakes, you know. I took the last breadstick, you gushed over my ex-boyfriend like he was Leonard Nimoy and you were my ex-boyfriend.

Dave: Let me just check my schedule, he said, trying to seem like a man with things on his schedule.
Amy: How about Saturday?
Dave: Uh, hmm Let me see. Uh, Friday, farmers' market with Jay Z. Sunday, piano shopping with Elton John. Saturday works.

Bernadette: So, you're really going out with Dave again?
Amy: Why not? He's actually a very nice guy.
Bernadette: But he spent an entire date talking about how much he loves Sheldon.
Amy: That's nothing Sheldon hasn't done before.

Amy: Sheldon I can tell you want to go, so if you'd be comfortable with it, maybe we could go as friends.
Sheldon: You don't think that will be awkward?
Amy: Well it is Thanksgiving in an aquarium cafeteria, so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. But if you mean between us I think it'll be fine.

Amy: Sheldon, we've known each other a long time. We are perfectly capable of having a conversation without relying on a list off the Internet.
Sheldon: All right. Well, what should we talk about?
Amy: I don't know. Just ask me whatever comes to mind.
Sheldon: Very well. I know you've been seeing other men. Have you had coitus with any of them?
Amy: Man, I walked right into that one.

Amy: Let's just play.
Sheldon: I'll start you off easy. Electric eel, pufferfish, shrimp.
Amy: Hmm. Well, I wouldn't fight the eel, because I know it can generate enough current to kill a horse.
So I'd eat the eel, fight the shrimp, and befriend the pufferfish, because it would be nice to have company on those days I feel bloated.

Amy: I miss this.
Sheldon: How can you miss a game you've never played before, silly?
Amy: I guess sometimes I'm silly.

Penny: Well, we're your best friends. Give us one more detail and we promise we'll leave you alone.
Amy: Fine. Umm ... he's British.
(Penny and Bernadette squeal)
Amy: All right, that is a juicy one.

Dave: You know, I once drove 500 miles to hear him speak at Stanford.
Amy: I have a DVD of that lecture.
Dave: Really? Wasn't it great?
Amy: Not as a Valentine's present, no.

Stuart: All right, I'm not saying it's true, but let's consider for a moment that possibly I'm the problem.
Penny: Yeah.
Bernadette: You are.
Amy: You can say it.

Bernadette: Are you attracted to him?
Amy: I don't know.
Penny: All right, well, what happens if you imagine him naked?
Amy: Oh, I don't have to imagine it. (holds up her phone)

Bernadette: I can't believe Sheldon asked you to be his roommate.
Amy: I can't believe he ran my credit.

Amy: I know we're not making a fuss, but in the spirit of bachelorette parties, I made cookies in the shape of male genitals.
Penny: You really didn't have to- Whoa, that is anatomic.
Amy: Thank you. The veins are gummy worms.
Bernadette: Oh, look, Jewish and gentile.
Amy: I had extra dough.

Bernadette: Speaking of Sheldon, how's single life treating you?
Amy: Fine, I guess. I've been focusing on me. I was thinking about changing my wardrobe.
Penny: Yes!
Bernadette: Good for you!
Amy: But then I decided I don't want to go changing who I am just because of some man.
Penny: Yes.
Bernadette: Good for you.
Penny: You know, it is normal to want to change your look after a breakup.
Amy: Actually, I was thinking of making one small change.
Bernadette: Your sweater?
Penny: Your glasses?
Bernadette: Your hair?
Penny: Your shoes.
Amy: Piercing my ears.

Amy: Piercing my ears.
Penny: Oh.
Bernadette: Oh, you really never had that done?
Amy: My mom said pierced ears were for whores, pirates and genies.
Penny: Okay, well, you're a grown woman now.
Amy: I know, but Sheldon had this clause in the Relationship Agreement forbidding cosmetic surgery unless it's to look like a Klingon.