Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?
Bernadette: I don't want anything in my ample bosom.
Amy: Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.

Penny: Just a couple of minutes. You've really never done this before?
Amy: Once in high school, but I dozed off and woke up with second-degree chemical burns on my face.
Penny: Oh, my gosh, that's awful. The other kids make fun of you?
Amy: No, I had a cover story, I told everyone it was herpes.

Bernadette: I can't believe we're not going to get married.
Amy: Excuse me, I'm going to go see if the couple at the front of the line needs a maid of honor.

Bernadette: So, what do you say, Amy?
Amy: Can I wear my maid of honour dress?
Bernadette: Seriously? You're going to wear that thing to City Hall?
Amy: It's all I have left. You're going to take that from me, too?

Leonard: Hey, Amy, what brings you to our neck of the woods?
Amy: Your neurology department loaned me a culture of prions for my research on bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
Sheldon: She popped by to borrow a cup of mad cow disease.
Amy: It's hard to make degenerative brain maladies hilarious, and yet somehow you do it.

Amy: Girlfriends, I have the answer to our dress problems.
Bernadette: Really?
Amy: Twelve years ago, my cousin Irene and her entire family died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident the night before her wedding.
Bernadette: That's horrible.
Amy: Yes and no. All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused and available to us for free. So it seems that cloud of odourless deadly gas had a silver lining after all. Check it out, still in the bags. The gowns, not the bridesmaids.

Bernadette: I dont know. Dead people's dresses?
Penny: Yeah, and cap sleeves?
Amy: I was hoping you wouldn't notice. Irene was always a slave to a good bargain when it came to clothes, and sadly as it turned out, space heaters.

Alfred Hofstadter: Now, one of the more exciting things to be found recently is that Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens frequently mated with each other.
Mary Cooper: Well, that certainly explains my marriage to Sheldon's father.
Sheldon: That's funny because my father was not a very clever man.
Amy: I'd be lost without you.

Mary Cooper: So, Alfred, what is it that you do for a living?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, I'm an anthropologist. I study ancient peoples and cultures.
Mary Cooper: My goodness, so all the way back to the Flood.
Sheldon: Don't laugh, she wasn't joking.
Amy: Play with your phone.

Mary Cooper: It was so nice of Leonard and Penny to invite me.
Sheldon: Well, actually, I-
Amy: It sure was.

Penny: Okay, so it's not a legal ceremony, it's just a chance for us to redo our vows so everyone can be part of it.
Amy: So there's no maid of honour?
Penny: No.
Amy: Huh. But if I were to, say, wear a purple satin dress with a sweetheart neckline and stand near you, you wouldn't be able to stop me, right?
Penny: I don't see how I could.
Amy: Then I graciously accept.

Bernadette: Who's going to officiate?
Penny: I was kind of hoping you would.
Amy: Wait, now I'm just some lousy maid of honor?

Beverly: That was very nice of Sheldon to apologize.
Amy: Well, he's come a long way. Or a short way very slowly, so it feels like a long way.

Amy: Do you realize it took me five years to get a massage from him?
Beverly: Oh, well, that still could be a big step for Sheldon.
Amy: Three minutes. And he used a kitchen timer. I felt like a soft-boiled egg.

Amy: I'm sorry, I've been going on and on.
Beverly: Oh, it's all right, dear. Sheldon has a brilliant and complicated mind. It's understandable that being in a relationship with him could be trying.
Amy: I called him babe once. He asked me to get a drug test.