Amy: Just tell me what happened.
Sheldon: Leonard talked to Tam behind my back and took his side. And after what he did to me. Can you believe it?
Amy: No. I'm-I'm shocked and outraged. Now, tell me why I'm shocked and outraged.

Sheldon: Anyway, Tam stayed with her in Texas, and I had to move out here all by myself.
Amy: That must've been scary.
Sheldon: It was. I was lonely, and I thought I'd never make a friend again. And for a long time, I didn't.
Amy: But then you did. And great friends. If you think about it, if Tam had moved out here with you, who knows what your life would've been like.
[Montage of classic The Big Bang Theory moments with Tam as Sheldon's roomate]

Sheldon: I don't understand. If it's unreasonable, why should we do it?
Howard: Okay, how about this? You know in Star Wars when R2 and Chewbacca were playing holochess?
Amy: Really? Star Wars?
Sheldon: Amy, let the man speak.

Penny: I'm just running some errands.
Amy: Yeah? With a bag full of wine?
Penny: I got to stay hydrated.
Amy: Try again.
Penny: Okay, look, I'm sorry. We did not mean to leave you out. All right? Bernadette has been feeling fried at home, so we ended up hanging out in Halley's playhouse.
Amy: Like a secret club?
Penny: No! Just, like, a place to spend time that we don't tell anyone else about.
Amy: And what would be a shorter way of saying that?
Penny: (quietly) Secret club.

Amy: I'm in a secret club! Shh! Is there some sort of humiliating initiation? 'Cause I would literally do anything.

Bernadette: So where does Leonard think you are?
Penny: Oh, I told him I was at yoga.
Amy: Well, you are stretching the truth.

Sheldon: After last night, I got to thinking that I should have a better relationship with your family.
Amy: I think the one you have with them is perfect.
Sheldon: I hardly have one at all.
Amy: Which is perfect.

Amy: Can I do anything?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: I can make you some tea, I could sing "Soft Kitty"-
Sheldon: I don't understand how you're not more upset by this. This is your paper, too.
Amy: I am upset, Sheldon. I'm just trying to hold it together for you. Like when that goose wouldn't leave us alone at brunch.
Sheldon: That thing scared you, too?
Amy: Well, of course it did. I was wearing a down jacket.

Amy: Is there anything I can do?
Sheldon: Yes. You can build me a time machine so I can go back and tell my younger self to give up, because nothing's gonna work out the way he wants.
Amy: I was thinking a nice cup of leaf soup.

Amy: Sheldon, look at my fruit plate. It's got kiwi on it.
Sheldon: Ugh. I don't like kiwi.
Amy: Neither do I, but it's so fancy.

Penny: And Leonard just stood there with a big, dumb smile on his face, like he was watching a puppy and a monkey make friends.
Bernadette: Well, I can see how he'd be flattered to be asked.
Penny: It's not flattering. It's creepy.
Amy: Well, something can be both flattering and creepy. You know, just the other night, Sheldon said that my feet looked like Richard Feynman's hands.

Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: Why do you assume something's wrong?
Amy: Because you haven't touched your dinner, and you're literally ticking like a bomb about to go off.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy. You see through me like one of Penny's shirts.

Amy: Speaking of putting dollars in things I loved you in Magic Mike.
Joe Manganiello: [chuckles] Thanks. [to Wil Wheaton] Switch places with me.

Leonard: Oh, the there's a 7:15 at the ArcLight.
Penny: Well, that doesn't give us much time to eat.
Leonard: We can eat afterwards.
Sheldon: I'm not gonna eat at 10:00 at night. Who am I, Hemingway?
Amy: Why do you think Hemingway ate at 10:00?
Sheldon: He spent a lot of time in Spain. They eat dinner late.
Amy: He also spent a lot of time in Florida. Last time I was there, people were eating dinner at, like, 4:30.

Amy: Do I want to ask?
Leonard: Oh, when I go upstairs, Penny's gonna make me choose what we're gonna do tonight without taking her feelings into consideration, and I-I don't know if I'm up for it.
Amy: Poor baby. When I go upstairs, Sheldon's gonna give me a 25-minute lecture about what Hulk would be like if he were made of metal. Part of his ongoing series, "What If Hulk Were Made of Other Things?"