Amy: So, Claire, we've heard so many wonderful things about you.
Claire: Really? Like what?
Amy: Uh, mostly Penny's heard them.

Amy: So, Sheldon and Bernadette are hanging out.
Howard: I know. What are they gonna talk about?
Amy: I don't know. I really don't know.

Leonard: Hey.
Howard: Oh, good.
Amy: Oh, thank God.
Penny: You guys been here long?
Howard: No, two minutes.
Amy: But yes.

Amy: Well, I'm going. You couldn't stop me from getting a massage at the mall, and you're not stopping me now.
Sheldon: I shouldn't have to see my girlfriend get groped in public by another man.
Amy: And I shouldn't have to see my boyfriend riding on a train for children around the mall.
Penny: The little choo-choo for toddlers?
Amy: And now you know why I needed the massage.

Amy: Well, I know how he feels. I never enjoyed our relationship agreement meetings.
Sheldon: Wait. You were pretending?
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: No. I don't believe you. I could tell.
Amy: (feigning excitement) Oh, Sheldon, I never thought re-filing a matter in a standing subcommittee could be so fascinating.
Sheldon: Hmm, what do you think?
Penny: You don't know?

Sheldon: Oh, never have I ever drunk milk past its expiration date.
Amy: Never have I ever canceled a dentist appointment.
Sheldon: Oh, uh, never have I ever put my foot in the ocean.
Amy: Never have I ever honked if I liked anything.
Sheldon: Oh, uh, never have I ever thrown, caught or touched a Frisbee.
Amy: Never have I ever put salt on my food without trying it first.
Sheldon: Oh. Never have I ever pushed all the buttons in an elevator.
Amy: Well, we all have a past.

Sheldon: Okay. Well, shall we check each other for ticks?
Amy: Sheldon, all we did was walk in from the car.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, suit yourself. Who wants to check me?
Amy: On the other hand, safety first.

Penny: I'll see if it's available.
Amy: You know, if that study's real, Leonard might come back smarter than you.
Sheldon: Are you trying to manipulate me?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Well done, it worked, we're going.
Amy: Yay!

Amy: That's me, your emotional outhouse. You know, if you ever decide you want to do something about this, I'm here for you.
Sheldon: Thank you. I wouldn't even know how to begin.
Amy: Baby steps, I guess.
Sheldon: I suppose I could try getting rid of the golf ball.
Amy: Oh, okay.
Sheldon: I will always have the dent to remember it by.
Amy: You did it. Do you feel okay?

Amy: It's okay, Sheldon. You know, I've saved a lot of weird things, too.
Sheldon: Like what?
Amy: Well, um, did you know I have a microscope slide with a little bit of tissue from the first brain I ever dissected?
Sheldon: I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years.
Amy: It's not a contest.

Sheldon: Welcome to my Fortress of Shame.
Amy: I'm sorry. What, what am I looking at?
Sheldon: It's basically everything I've ever owned. Um, every book, every tee shirt, every piece of broken electronics. Just all of it.
Amy: All of it?
Sheldon: I have a Ziploc bag filled with all my old Ziploc bags.
Amy: Okay. Well, I would like to tell you that there is nothing here to be ashamed of. So I'm gonna need a minute.

Amy: Sheldon, just tell me.
Sheldon: It might be easier to show you.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: We'd have to take your car.
Amy: All right.
Sheldon: And I'm gonna need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
Amy: Well, I signed one before we slept together. Why not now?

Sheldon: I suppose I should set this up. Or would you like to rob me of that, too?
Amy: Knock it off or I'll start making W-H sounds for words that just have a W.
Sheldon: You wouldn't.
Amy: Whatch me.

Amy: I got here as quickly as I could.
Sheldon: You're too late.
*Sheldon plays "Taps" and drapes a cloth over his laptop."
Amy: Sheldon, this is silly.
Sheldon: You got emotional when that lab monkey died.
Amy: That lab monkey told me he loved me in sign language.

Amy: Sheldon, why don't you get a new computer? You know that one's out-of-date.
Sheldon: Oh, but I like this computer.
Amy: The video is failing, and the sound is cutting out.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
Amy: The video is failing, and the sound is cutting out.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, one more time. The sound is cutting out. (Amy holds up a sign) I can't read that. The video is failing.
Amy: Get a new computer.
Sheldon: What?
Amy: Get a new computer.
Sheldon: What? (Answering phone) Hello?
Amy: Get a new computer!