Penny: Amy, you?
Amy: Can't help ya, kid. Whenever I'm around Sheldon, I feel like my loins are on fire. In the good way. Not the urinary tract infection way.

Bernadette: I just think in relationships you get back what you put into them.
Amy: That's not always true. Last night, I gave Sheldon my best come-hither look, and he responded by explaining how wheat came to be cultivated.

Leonard: So, Amy, what's going on with your addiction study?
Amy: Sadly, I'm no longer associated wtih that project.
Leonard: Why? What happened.
Amy: Typical bureaucratic nonsense. You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance, you can dissect their brains, but you throw their own faeces back at them and suddenly you're unprofessional.

Leonard: Aren't you going with Sheldon?
Amy: No, I have no interest in model trains, stores that sell them, nor their heartbreaking clientele.

Amy: Should I go? I have been told sometimes I overstay my welcome.
Leonard: What? Who told you that?
Amy: Well, most recently my gynaecologist.

Penny: You're a brain scientist. Can you explain to me why a brilliant man likes playing with toy trains?
Amy: Not without cutting his head open, no.

Amy: Thor is a god. The hammer is his. Only he can use it. It's like Sheldon and his toothbrush. Or his thin, beckoning lips.

Amy: How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
Bernadette: Well what makes me the weakest member?
Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

Bernadette: I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whip that out of you in Catholic school.
Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.

Penny: Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
Penny: None?
Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.

Penny: So blow off work and go on a weekday.
Amy: Hooky? I've never played hooky in my life. My mom said that's how girls end up addicted to reefer and jazz music.

Amy: His quirks just make you love him more. Someone please agree with me.

Amy: Excuse me, Zack? I am Amy Farrah Fowler. We met the other night. I have spent my life in pursuit of pure knowledge. Until I met you, my decisions were founded in logic and reason. And yet here I stand before you, one hundred and thirty pounds of raging estrogen, longing to grab hold of your gluteus maximus and make Shakespeare's metaphorical beast with two backs.
Zack: My gluteus what?
Amy: On the other hand, as I look at the blank, ape-like expression on your face, I have decided to adopt the Vulcan practice of Kolinar. Goodbye, Zack.

Sheldon: Keep a lookout. This place is swarming with campus security. They will not hesitate to scold us.
Amy: Freaking pigs.

Amy: I trained Ricky how to smoke. I can train him to shoot a poison dart. No jury would convict us 'cause people love monkeys.