Amy: It seems like the appropriate thing to do when one's best friend finds herself replaced by a smart, beautiful woman with the smouldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger.

Penny: I don't want five dollars, I want my dignity.
Amy: So, what are we talking, like ten bucks?

Amy: Penny, I really want to eat this banana, but it's stuck inside this bamboo puzzle box.

Amy: As you know, I had planned a traditional evening of romance and gifts.
Sheldon: Yes, and as you know, I planned to pretend to enjoy it. I've been working on this facial expression all day.
Amy: And I appreciate your effort, but upon contemplation, I decided I was being selfish. So, I canceled our dinner reservations and came up with an even better way to celebrate Valentine's Day.
Sheldon: What is that?
Amy: By doing none of it. No dinner, no romance, no gifts. We stay here, order a pizza and watch one of your beloved Star War Trek things.

Penny: So blow off work and go on a weekday.
Amy: Hooky? I've never played hooky in my life. My mom said that's how girls end up addicted to reefer and jazz music.

Amy: How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
Bernadette: Well what makes me the weakest member?
Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

Bernadette: I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whip that out of you in Catholic school.
Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.

Penny: Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
Penny: None?
Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.

Amy: Thor is a god. The hammer is his. Only he can use it. It's like Sheldon and his toothbrush. Or his thin, beckoning lips.

Penny: If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
Amy: Okay, if you are going to start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.

Penny: You're a brain scientist. Can you explain to me why a brilliant man likes playing with toy trains?
Amy: Not without cutting his head open, no.

Leonard: I just can't figure out what happened. I put my left leg in, I took my left leg out, I put my left leg in, and something just snapped.
Amy: The hokey pokey is a young man's game.

Leonard: Aren't you going with Sheldon?
Amy: No, I have no interest in model trains, stores that sell them, nor their heartbreaking clientele.

Leonard: Well, I have some work to do, so-
Amy: I can't imagine that would disturb me. Carry on.
Leonard: Okay. Wouldn't you be more comfortable at home?
Amy: Not really, no.
Leonard: All righty then. Guess I'll just get started.
Amy: Leonard, please. I don't need the running commentary.

Amy: Should I go? I have been told sometimes I overstay my welcome.
Leonard: What? Who told you that?
Amy: Well, most recently my gynaecologist.