Penny: Fine, it bothers me a little. No. You know what? This is stupid. It doesn't bother me. Okay, it bothers me. But only because she wouldn't stop laughing. Leonard is not that funny.
Amy: And there you have it, prefrontal cortex reasoning versus limbic lust. If this were a boxing match, they might call it the thrilla adjacent to the amygdala. If you were a brain scientist, you would be busting a gut right now.

Amy: When I get married, I'm going to register at the UCLA Cadaver Lab.
Penny: Eww, why?
Amy: 'cause I've always wanted a whole human skeleton and they are really spendy.

Penny: Amy, you?
Amy: Can't help ya, kid. Whenever I'm around Sheldon, I feel like my loins are on fire. In the good way. Not the urinary tract infection way.

Penny: Look, it's fine. We're not getting married, okay? We're keeping things, you know, homeostasis.
Amy: It's so cute when she tries.

Amy: If Sheldon proposed to me during sex, my ovaries would grab onto him and never let go.

Amy: I can't believe I bleached my moustache for this.

Penny: Just a couple of minutes. You've really never done this before?
Amy: Once in high school, but I dozed off and woke up with second-degree chemical burns on my face.
Penny: Oh, my gosh, that's awful. The other kids make fun of you?
Amy: No, I had a cover story, I told everyone it was herpes.

Amy: Stop it! Today is not about you, it's about Howard and Bernadette, and me!

Amy: Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also want you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out.

Amy: I love his eidetic memory, it's so sexy. Sheldon, what are the ingredients in Pringles?
Sheldon: Dried potatoes, vegetable oil, corn flour, wheat starch, maltodextrin, salt, and my favorite ingredient of all, uniformity.
Amy: The uterus quivers, does it not?

Amy: No, no, no, this is not the wedding I wanted. I wanted to wear my maid of honor dress and walk down the aisle with a hundred eyes on me, while a string quartet plays The Way You Look Tonight.
Bernadette: That wasn't going to be our procession music.
Amy: Well, it was going to be mine.

Bernadette: So, what do you say, Amy?
Amy: Can I wear my maid of honour dress?
Bernadette: Seriously? You're going to wear that thing to City Hall?
Amy: It's all I have left. You're going to take that from me, too?

Bernadette: I can't believe we're not going to get married.
Amy: Excuse me, I'm going to go see if the couple at the front of the line needs a maid of honor.

Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.

Amy: All right, pivoting to the big question. Bernadette, on your wedding night you'll be consummating your marriage. What do you think your first sexual position will be as husband and wife?
Bernadette: Amy, please.
Amy: Keeping in mind that whoever's on top may set the tone for the marriage.
Penny: Okay, show's over.
Amy: Hey, they may conceive a child on their wedding night. Don't you think the kid might get a kick out of knowing how it happened?
Penny: I don't care. Ask her things like are you going to take Howard's name? Not who's going to sit on who.