Bernadette: You're embarrassing me.
Amy: Oh, don't be embarrassed. I'll show you the divot in my spine.
Bernadette: What?
Amy: No, it's okay. I was born with it. If you put a double A battery in there, it makes my leg kick.

Amy: But enough about Penny, let's talk about us. We're looking good.
Bernadette: We are.
Amy: Better than good. I mean look at you, your body's bangin'.
Bernadette: Amy!
Amy: Don't Amy me. We're always talking about how hot Penny is. Come on, scientist to scientist, how big are those hadron colliders?

Amy: Can you see how a grown man and accomplished scientist who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great! Wait until you hear about our van.

Penny: I don't know what Emily's so upset about anyway. Even if I had slept with him, so what? Everyone has a past.
Amy: Ahem.
Penny: Almost everyone has a past.

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Erm, okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.

Bernadette: Did she say she didn't like you?
Penny: Of course not. Nobody ever says they don't like you straight to your face.
Amy: Heh, we have led different lives!

Amy: You really went your entire life without anyone saying I hate you to your face?
Penny: Yeah.
Amy: I'd say it now, but look at those cheekbones.

Amy: It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag underwear right now, cause there's about to be a fire.

Amy: Here they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to sauvignon blanc.

Penny: You guys are going out two nights in a row?
Sheldon: I missed a number of date nights while I was on my train trip, and I'm contractually obligated to make them up under the terms of the relationship agreement.
Penny: That's so hot.
Amy: It's better than hot, it's binding!

Amy: Hey, girlfriend. Can I get a what what?
Penny: What?
Amy: Close enough. I was just calling to see what you were up to tonight. I thought maybe we could head up Color Me Mine, maybe sneak in some Pinot Gris- what evs.

Amy: You better watch that attitude, buddy. You're dating the popular girl now.

Amy: I'm saying, in the spirit of science, what is that little skank's problem?

Amy: The important thing is I am here for you so we can mutually disparage this unpleasing third party.

Amy: Give me a minute. I'm stimulating the pleasure center of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.
Penny: What happens if you don't?
Amy: Then I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.