Amy: You know, when one male dominates another, his testosterone level rises.
Sheldon: What's your point?
Amy: It's exciting to think you might be getting a testosterone level.

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen’s homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Amy: This is really happening. I'm gonna be a maid of honour. I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle and, finally, I will have my special day.
Bernadette: You mean my special day?
Amy: They're gonna need an extra-large veil for somebody's head.

Amy: Parental pressure can be daunting. I remember the battle with my mother about shaving my legs. Last year, I finally gave in and let her do it.

Amy: You know, the connection between marriage and money is nothing new. In fact, the term wed referred to the money and livestock that the groom paid the bride's father. For example, you're adorable, intelligent and a good earner. I could conservatively see you going for at least two oxen and a goose. (To Penny) You would fetch a unicorn.

Amy: Come on, Sheldon. We can be like Marie Curie and her husband, Pierre, who spent their days working side by side, bathed in the glow of their love and the radium that ultimately killed her. Screw Beauty and the Beast, that's the love story Disney should tell.

Sheldon: Those are perfectly clean.
Amy: Sheldon, this beaker used to contain cerebral spinal fluid from an elephant that died of syphilis. If it is, in fact, perfectly clean, drink from it.

Amy: I want a real apology.
Sheldon: Im sorry that you weren't able to..
Amy: No.
Sheldon: That my genius...
Amy: No.
Sheldon: That the soap was...
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Fine. Sorry.
Amy: You're forgiven.

Amy: No, hang on. I followed all the protocols set forth by you in the relationship agreement. I made a written record request 72 hours in advance. I checked the tire pressure on the car. I even contacted the Centres For Disease Control to find out what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County. FYI, it's none.

Amy: I think you're really going to enjoy yourself today. Not only do you get to meet my relatives, but since my aunt's nursing home is catering the party, all of the food is incredibly soft. It's like a vacation for your teeth.

Amy: I had to go to my aunt's party all by myself, and everybody was like, "Where's this boyfriend you're always talking about? Is he real, or did you make him up like Armin the miniature horse breeder?"
Penny: Who's Armin the miniature horse breeder?
Amy: The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back. It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question how'd you two meet?
Penny: I would have thought at a miniature horse show.
Amy: Oh, that's good.
Penny: Mm.
Amy: I panicked and said Woodstock. I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family.

Amy: Spent a lot of my childhood throwing coins into wishing wells hoping for friends. At a certain point, you start doing trick shots just to keep things interesting.

Amy: (Storming into the apartment) Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you, and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends.
Penny: Yeah, you pick that bone. You pick that bone clean!
Amy: I'm gonna publicly shame you, and then sit back as societal pressure compels you to modify your behavior.
Penny: Ooh, burn!
Amy: And if you don't start treating me better, I'm leaving you for a miniature horse breeder named Armin.
Sheldon: Armin who?
Amy: Armin ... damn it.

Penny: So, who are you calling?
Amy: I'm going to video-chat Sheldon. If my new look leads to phone sex, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room.

Amy: I'd like to speak to Sheldon.
Alex: I'm sorry. Hes asked me to hold all calls unless you're Stephen Hawking, his mother or himself from the future.
Amy: All right. Well, tell him Amy called.
Alex: Last name?
Amy: He knows my last name. I'm his girlfriend. We have a contract and everything. I'll send you a PDF.