Penny: I should have been honest with you and told you the gift was too much.
Amy: Yes, too much. Because our friendship is fundamentally asymmetrical. I clearly like you more than you like me.
Penny: I don't think you can put a number on how much one person likes another.
Amy: I bought you a painting, that's 12 square feet in area. There's a number.
Penny: Amy, come on...
Amy: If you don't like feet, you can try dollars. The painting set me back three grand.

Penny: Okay, look, I didn't want to say this, but the real reason I took the painting down was because it made Bernadette very jealous.
Amy: Oh, my goodness, how could I have not seen that? The painting is a constant reminder that of the three of us, she is the least cool.

Amy: Oh, are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.

Amy: This is really happening. I'm gonna be a maid of honour. I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle and, finally, I will have my special day.
Bernadette: You mean my special day?
Amy: They're gonna need an extra-large veil for somebody's head.

Amy: Parental pressure can be daunting. I remember the battle with my mother about shaving my legs. Last year, I finally gave in and let her do it.

Amy: You know, the connection between marriage and money is nothing new. In fact, the term wed referred to the money and livestock that the groom paid the bride's father. For example, you're adorable, intelligent and a good earner. I could conservatively see you going for at least two oxen and a goose. (To Penny) You would fetch a unicorn.

Amy: Come on, Sheldon. We can be like Marie Curie and her husband, Pierre, who spent their days working side by side, bathed in the glow of their love and the radium that ultimately killed her. Screw Beauty and the Beast, that's the love story Disney should tell.

Sheldon: Those are perfectly clean.
Amy: Sheldon, this beaker used to contain cerebral spinal fluid from an elephant that died of syphilis. If it is, in fact, perfectly clean, drink from it.

Amy: I want a real apology.
Sheldon: Im sorry that you weren't able to..
Amy: No.
Sheldon: That my genius...
Amy: No.
Sheldon: That the soap was...
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Fine. Sorry.
Amy: You're forgiven.

Amy: Her heart's full of love, no one cares what's in her mouth.

Bernadette: Why do you think he asked you out again?
Penny: I don't know.
Amy: Maybe he's dying. That would be so romantic.
Penny: He's not dying.
Amy: Too bad. If he were, she could just throw him in bed and ride him right up until he flatlines.

Bernadette: Do you think you'll sleep with him tonight?
Penny: Absolutely not. Look, we're just gonna have dinner and, you know, see how it goes.
Amy: If he were dying, would you sleep with him?
Penny: What?
Amy: Assuming he were dying of something that couldn't be sexually transmitted. You know, like a spear wound to the head.
Penny: Okay, he is not dying.
Amy: How do you know? Are you a doctor?

Amy: If you and Leonard get back together, Sheldon and I will finally have someone to go on double dates with.
Bernadette: What about me and Howard?
Amy: Fine, we can double with you, too. So insecure.

Amy: Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met! Do you really think another transparently manipulative - Oh, it's a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.

Penny: You look beautiful.
Amy: Of course I do, I'm a princess and this is my tiara!