Amy: How about making my eyes like Cleopatra?
Penny: Really? For a wedding?
Amy: Perhaps you're right. My cheekbones and beckoning pelvis already have a certain hello sailor quality to them.

Amy: Would you like to dance?
Leonard: No, thank you. I'm really not much of a dancer.
Amy: You're not exactly winning any trophies as a conversationalist, either.

Leonard: I did have a great time. Thank you for reminding me it's okay to have fun once in a while.
Amy: You're welcome.
Leonard: And also for breaking the head off the ice swan so I could hold it against my pulled groin.
Amy: I excel at spatial reasoning, and I had a hunch that the graceful slope of its neck would cradle your genitals nicely.

Penny: How was the wedding?
Amy: Great. Until I accidentally made Leonard fall in love with me.
Penny: Come in, let's talk. Do you want a glass of wine?
Amy: Wine is one of the reasons I'm in this fix. That and this dang pelvis.
Penny: Okay, I'm sorry, what exactly happened?
Amy: The inevitable. He was lonely and vulnerable from missing his girlfriend, while I was charming, supportive and, let's face it, in this dress, the perfect combination of Madonna and whore.

Penny: Oh, God, did he make a move on you?
Amy: No, but it's only a matter of time. How could I have not seen this coming? Now I'm gonna have to break the little sad sack’s heart.
Penny: Yeah, I'm sure he'll be okay.
Amy: Oh, Penny, much as I would treasure knowing that the two of us had been defiled by the same man, Leonard just doesn't get my motor running.

Penny: So, um, what are you gonna do? Do you want me to talk to Leonard, let him down easy?
Amy: No. I'll let him have tonight. Then in the morning, I'll send him an e-mail letting him know this body is never gonna be his wonderland. I mean, frankly, you've got a better shot than he does.

Amy: You are aware that your ritualistic knocking behavior is symptomatic of obsessive-compulsive disorder?
Sheldon: Is not. Is not. Is not.
Amy: Denial. Denial. Denial.

Sheldon: You’re good friends with Penny, right?
Amy: Best friends, besties, BFFs, peas in a pod, sisters who would share traveling pants. Go on.

Penny: Pretty cool, huh? Probably would cost, like, two hundred bucks in a store.
Amy: I do appreciate a bargain. This entire ensemble once belonged to my dead grandmother.
Penny: You're kidding.
Amy: Everything except bra and panties. And they're a leopard-spotted secret I share with Victoria.

Amy: A guest in my trundle bed and a boy at my door. I wish I could tell thirteen-year-old me it does get better.

Amy: You can't blame yourself. When your pre-frontal cortex fails to make you happy, promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of Dopamine. We neurobiologists refer to it as the skank reflex.

Amy: Don't be so hard on yourself. Do you know the story of Catherine The Great?
Penny: No.
Amy: She ruled Russia in the late 1700s and one night when she was feeling particularly randy she used an intricate system of pullies to have intimate relations with a horse.

Penny: Coming. Yup, that's good. Wine glasses should have handles. (Answers the door to Amy)
Amy: Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake. Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few.
Penny: You heard what I did?
Amy: I heard who you did.

Penny: Maybe I should just move back to Nebraska.
Amy: No, I can't let you do that.
Penny: Why not?
Amy: For the first time ever, I have a thriving social life. And no pressure, but it kind of lives and dies with you.

Amy: I study the brain, the organ reponsible for Beethoven's 5th Symphony. Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light.