Amy: If you'd have let me bring the chloroform, we wouldn't have had to put up with all this jibber-jabber!

Amy: Well, granted Penny your secondary sexual characteristics are reasonably bodacious but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional and she comes from the culture that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex. Whereas you, on the other hand, are a community college drop-out who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.

Amy: Thanks to you, I just made a rhesus monkey cry like a disgraced televangelist.

Amy: Travel makes me constipated so I am the ideal hotel roommate.

Amy Farrah Fowler (text message): I don't care for perchloroethylene, and I don't like glycol ether.

Penny: How's your life?
Amy: Like everybody else's, subject to entropy, decay and eventual death. Thank you for asking.

Amy: I find the notion of romantic love an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.