Barry Kripke: Hello to you, too!

Barry Kripke: Hey, look at you Cooper. You're almost half way to the top.

Barry Kripke: Come on, they have birthday parties here. Little kids climb this.

Barry Kripke: Nope, I wanna climb some rocks.

Sheldon: Kripke, what would you say to the idea of you and I becoming friends?
Barry Kripke: I would say "I have no interest in becoming your friend".

Barry Kripke: Hey, Hofstadter. Heard about your latest proton anti-decay experiment. 20,000 data runs and no statistically significant results. Very impressive.

Barry Kripke: What is his problem?

Leonard: Nice little bot you've got here.
Barry Kripke: I'm aware.
Leonard: What's this do? Spin?
Barry Kripke: Yeah, at 3400 RPM. It can cut through steel like it was rubber.

Barry Kripke: I will, however, give you the opportunity to concede my superiority now and offer my your robot as the spoils of war.

Sheldon: Never. I'd rather see MONTE dead than in your hands.
Barry Kripke: That can easily be arranged.

Barry Kripke: Are you crazy? This is a street fight. The street has no rules.

(O.S. - In video) Barry Kripke: As you can see, the Kripke Crippler is reducing the Chevy Cavalier to rubble.

Barry Kripke: If you're not there, you'll be exposed to ridicule.

Barry Kripke: We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots.

Barry Kripke: Tell you what. Forget the SCRFLRRI, let's settle this roboto-a-roboto. There's no guarantee we're going to go against each other in the round robin, so let's throw down. You know, unless you're afraid.