Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 30

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Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Howard: Why won't our friends just listen to us? We obviously know what we're talking about.
Bernadette: I know. We're married, we have great kids, great jobs, this great house. ["Smooth Operator" starts playing in Stuart's room again]

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Bernadette: The same thing happened to me. Penny said she didn't want kids, and I told her she was being silly, and she accused me of being condescending. Which is crazy, because if I wanted to be condescending, I would've said, "Ooh, 'condescending.' That's such a big word."

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: You know, not everyone needs to have kids to be fulfilled.
Bernadette: You're right, you've got Leonard. What more do you need?

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: Hang on, why is it crazy to say I might not want kids?
Bernadette: Oh, it's not crazy. It's just wrong. You only think you don't want kids, but once you have kids, you'll realize that you did want them.
Penny: Or I don't want them, so I won't have them, so back off.
Bernadette: Aw, you sound just like me before I became a mom and learned what the meaning of love was.
Penny: Wow, I cannot believe how condescending you're being.
Bernadette: Look, I know it's scary, but you're gonna be a great mom.
Penny: I know I'd be great, but the point is I don't want to be one.
Bernadette: Maybe you wouldn't be great. You kind of got a temper.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Penny: Hey, want to get lunch?
Bernadette: I can't. Halley and Michael were up all night, and I'm way behind here.
Penny: Oh, no, are they sick?
Bernadette: No. They were just laughing and playing like a couple of jerks. Boy, they're cute, but they ruin everything.
Penny: I get that. You know, I've been thinking lately that maybe I don't want kids.
Bernadette: Are you crazy? Of course you want them. It's amazing.
Penny: You just said they ruin everything.
Bernadette: I'm allowed to. It's their fault I pee when I laugh.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Stuart: Uh, what are you guys up to?
Howard: Reading.
Denise: Oh, nice, I wish I read more.
Bernadette: Well, if it's important, you find the time.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Howard: Enjoying your book?
Bernadette: So much.
Howard: Why do you keep poking at it?
Bernadette: Fine, I'm shopping on my phone.
Howard: You're the one who said you wanted to read more.
Bernadette: Yes, I also tell people I only feed the kids organic. It's just stuff you say.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Bernadette: What's wrong with his face?
Howard: A lot of people have been asking that. He's smiling.
Bernadette: Hey, Stuart, you look pretty happy.
Stuart: Oh, yeah. I, uh, asked Denise out on a date, and she said yes.
Bernadette: Aw. That's great. But don't smile like that in front of Halley. She just started sleeping through the night.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Bernadette: "I heart New York." Aw, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Bernadette: What the hell is that?
Howard: Come on, you know this one. It's a dog. I found him in the backyard. And don't worry, I already called the owner.
Bernadette: Good, 'cause we don't need a dog. We already have two babies, you and Stuart.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Penny: I'm gonna need everyone's help. Think of this as one of your comic book movies. There's a bunch of superheroes, each with a different task.
Raj: Oh, like the new Avengers.
Bernadette: Which one was that?
Howard: The one you slept through last weekend.
Bernadette: Oh, that was a good nap.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Penny: [answering video call, seeing Bernadette's case of pinkeye] Oh, my God.
Bernadette: Yeah, I got it, too.
Penny: Wow. You really can't keep your hands off Howard, can you?
Bernadette: I know, I have a problem.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Bernadette: Aren't you worried it's a little intense to ask someone you just met to go to a wedding?
Raj: (sighs) I'm running out of time. Wh-Wh-Why can't there be a service where you can just pay someone to be your date for the evening?
Bernadette: Like an escort service?
Raj: No, no, no. Y-You wouldn't be paying for sex. I mean, obviously if things went well, it could lead to sex, but, but the money is for, like, you know, her time and companionship.
Bernadette: Oh, I get it an escort service.
Raj: Stop saying that.
Bernadette: Stop meaning it.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Bernadette: How many out-of-town guests are there gonna be?
Amy: I'm actually not sure. Turns out Sheldon didn't invite his brother.
Penny: Mm. Now it's starting to sound like a wedding.
Amy: And his mom said she won't come if his brother's not there.
Bernadette: Ooh, now it's starting to sound like a good wedding.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Amy: There aren't gonna be any wedding photos. My fiancee's a germophobe. If he finds out I'm contagious, he'll never come back from Texas.
Bernadette: What if we tell him the theme of the wedding is Walking Dead and this is our zombie makeup?
Amy: That'll probably work. We'll call that plan B.

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