Penny: They told Mary they were living together, there was a fight, he got his feelings hurt, then he put underwear on his head-
Leonard: On purpose, not the way it used to happen in high school.
Sheldon: I was acting odd intentionally.
Bernadette: Really? So you can control it?

Howard: So what did you and Leonard do?
Penny: Actually, we got in a pretty nasty fight.
Leonard: It might've been the worst one we've ever had.
Bernadette: Oh, my God, what happened?
Leonard: Well, we had started binge-watching Luke Cage together, and it was kind of our thing, and then, I find out that she watched two episodes without me.
Bernadette: It's like I was excited for a present and got socks.

Penny: I can't believe you fit in the crib.
Bernadette: I could take a bath in the sink. I don't, but I can.

Bernadette: I'm sorry.It's our first time.
Althea: It's okay. This little one will be here before you know it. Do we know what we're having?
Howard: No, we're keeping it a surprise.
Althea: Old school. Nice.
Bernadette: Not that old school. He knows.

Bernadette: (groaning) Here comes another one. (yelling) Hey, Squinty, the gas pedal's on the right!
Stuart: All right, hang on. If you see any pedestrians, just call 'em out.

Howard: So, what are we gonna name this kid? Now that we know she's a girl, it kind of ruins my plan for Wally Wolowitz.
Bernadette: Could name her after your mom.
Howard: Debbie? (chuckles) No, she hated that name.
Bernadette: Did she have a middle name?
Howard: Melvina.
Bernadette: Let's keep thinking.

Bernadette: I didn't know her five minutes and she asked, (imitating Mrs. Wolowitz) "Are you a Milky Way or a Snickers girl?"
Howard: Thank God you answered right - we wouldn't be here today.

Howard: Remember what you learned in birthing class.
Bernadette: I remember thinking, "this is stupid" and I was right!
Howard: Do you want me to get the nurse?
Bernadette: No! If one more person puts their fingers near my uterus, I'm gonna cross my legs and snap 'em off!

Bernadette: Stuart, you cooked?
Howard: How did you know it wasn't me?
Bernadette: There's only three people in this house, and you'd still be my fifth guess.

Bernadette: Hey, could you please go to the market for me?
Howard: Get Stuart or Raj to do it.
Bernadette: Howie, they've been doing everything for you.
Howard: Mm, I know. It's really making me lose respect for both of them.
Bernadette: Please just go to the store.
Howard: Fine. (shouting) Who wants to drive me to the store?
Raj: (off-screen) Me!
Stuart: (off-screen) I'll do it!
Bernadette: Take Raj. Stuart is supposed to paint my toenails.

Howard: I've worked with Hawking. He's got a great sense of humor. And I think he'd like it.
Bernadette: Okay, call him and show him. I dare you.
Howard: I have no problem calling him.
Bernadette: Fine, then do it.
Howard: Fine, I will.
Bernadette: While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist, be sure to show him how funny he looks getting stuck under our dishwasher.

Howard: You busy? There's somebody out here who wants to meet you.
Bernadette: Who is it?
Howard: Say hello to everybody's little friend, remote control Stephen Hawking!
Bernadette: Where did you get that?
Howard: I found him in an old box.
Bernadette: Why would you buy it?
Howard: I didn't buy it. I made it.
Bernadette: Last question. What is wrong with you?

Bernadette: (To Sheldon) I can't imagine you being violent.
Leonard: It's not hard. Just picture the Three Stooges, and then take away two stooges.

Sheldon: Look, look here I am standing next to the incubator. Uh, here is a microscopic view of the cells.
Bernadette: Look at that. Put them in a tiny Flash T-shirt and it's you.

Sheldon: Yeah, this little guy can already recognize electronically transmitted images 20% faster than any other sample in Amy's lab.
Bernadette: I'm running out of ways to act excited.