Penny: We thought you meant not letting him run out into traffic.
Bernadette: Which he only did once.

Penny: Do you think living with Amy has somehow stirred up Sheldon's sexual appetite?
Bernadette: (grimacing with disgust) Ugh. How can you think that? Why would you even put those words together?

Bernadette: I don't know if you realize this, but whenever you're between projects, you tend to get a little insecure.
Howard: Oh.
Bernadette: A little clingy.
Howard: I know and I'm sorry. (starts kissing her)
Bernadette: Oh, oh, oh, okay, stop. Stop. I love when you're affectionate, but this is not coming from a good place.
Howard: (laughing) Well, excuse me, but what did you do when you worked on that allergy drug for two years and the FDA shut down your project?
Bernadette: I signed us up for ballroom dance class.
Howard: Okay, and what did you do when they took you off the anti-fungal team?
Bernadette: I made us have a baby.

Bernadette: Well, distance might be nice. The last time a big project ended for Howie, he wouldn't stop following me around. He even went with me to get a mammogram.
Penny: Well, what's wrong with that?
Bernadette: No, he wanted to get one with me, like some kind of weird couple's massage.
Penny: And yet you bore his child. Neato.

Howard: I can't believe you made fun of me all these years while you were a closeted ventriloquist.
Bernadette: Okay, it's not like I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I was in beauty pageants and I needed a talent besides spreading rumors that the other contestants were pregnant.

Howard: Oh, and I'm a dork for juggling.
Bernadette: Sorry, you're not a dork. (Southern accent): You're a clown. (Regular voice): Tammy Jo, don't say that, you'll make him feel bad. (Southern accent): Look at him, what reason he got to feel good?
Howard: All right, very funny.
Bernadette: Don't listen to her, she's been in a box for, like, 25 years. (chuckles) (Southern accent) Yeah, back when his haircut was fashionable.

Penny: So he's my ex-boyfriend, who cares? I can't believe Leonard would be so insecure.
Bernadette: Really? I have no trouble believing that at all.
Penny: And Zack's engaged. Leonard has no reason to feel threatened.
Bernadette: We're talking about the same Leonard, right?

Bernadette: And I'd like to think Howie wouldn't take a job I was uncomfortable with.
Penny: 'Cause he's scared of you?
Bernadette: Terrified.
Penny: Yeah.

Bernadette: So you wanted to learn something physical and you came to Howard Wolowitz?

Bernadette: Let me just say good-bye. (Taps the glass) Halley. (Hits the glass) Look at Mommy. (Hits the glass) Over here, honey. (Pounding the glass)Say good-bye to Mommy! Look at me! Look at your mother!
*Babies crying*
Bernadette: All right, we can go.

Stuart: Bye, cutie. I'm gonna miss you. (voice breaking) I'm gonna be waiting right here tonight when you get home.
Bernadette: Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
Howard: (voice breaking) Great, now everybody's crying.
Stuart: At least Halley's not.
Howard: That's good.
Bernadette: She's not gonna see us all day, and she doesn't even care!

Howard: Learning anything?
Bernadette: Well, sloth babies cling to their mothers' bodies for almost a year. I'm going back to work after only four months. So, I've learned I hate myself, I hate sloths, and I hate you for bringing me here.

Bernadette: It's okay, I'm just being emotional about this. Can you not tell Howard?
Stuart: Well, don't you think it'd be healthier if you told him what's going on with you?
Bernadette: Don't you think it'd be healthier if you had your own apartment, grown man?
Stuart: Your secret is safe with me.

Stuart: What you working on?
Bernadette: Trying to catch up on office e-mails before I go back.
Stuart: Oh, that's right, maternity leave's almost over. Are you excited?
Bernadette: Yeah, I mean, I'll miss Halley, but it'll be nice to get out of the house, be intellectually stimulated. Go out to lunch instead of, you know, (points to her breasts) being lunch.

Bernadette: Plus, I think I'm setting a good example for Halley, to show her that women can be mothers and still have satisfying careers. Sure, she won't know where I went or if I'm ever coming back. That'll just make the ten minutes between when I get home (voice breaking) and her bedtime even more special.