Howard: There's a baby in there.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.

Howard: Oh, I mean, I know you're pregnant. I just never connected the idea of pregnancy and you actually having a baby.
Bernadette: Which MIT did you go to?

Bernadette: Howie, we have time to do all that stuff.
Howard: Do we? Look at you. Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room.
Bernadette: The next person kicking you will be me.

Bernadette: I don't want to drive that. It's such a mom car.
Howard: The guy at the dealership said they're not just for moms anymore.
Raj: Then again, he did think you were my husband.
Bernadette: They thought it at the ultrasound. Why not at the car dealership?

Stuart: I had nothing else to do tonight. The last couple of months, I come here when I know they're not home.
Howard: (In the upstairs window) What?!
Stuart: They heard me in the bushes once, but they thought it was a raccoon.
Bernadette: (In the upstairs window) I told you raccoons don't say "Uh-oh."

Bernadette: Why wouldn't he tell us? Are we bad friends?
Howard: He's in our hot tub drinking our wine.
Bernadette: Yeah, he deserves to be alone.

Raj: I'm the son of a gynecologist. I could be helpful.
Bernadette: It would help if you stopped telling me I have a textbook cervix.
Raj: The polite response is, "Thank you for noticing."

Bernadette: This is ridiculous. The doctor knows what the baby is, the ultrasound tech knows, Raj knows, his Grey's Anatomy online fan group probably knows.

Bernadette: I'm clearly upset. Why aren't you following me?

Howard: Thanks again for breakfast.
Raj: Well, I didn't get to see you last night. It was the least I could do.
Bernadette: (To Howard) You shouldn't have made the alarm code his birthday.

Raj: So, what should we do today?
Bernadette: Oh, I appreciate it, but you don't have to spend your day off with me.
Raj: Well, I don't mind. Oh, you want go to the mall and look at baby stuff?
Bernadette: Not really.
Raj: Oh, come on, we could share a pretzel and get sideways glances from racist old ladies.
Bernadette: I get enough of that when I take Howard to my grandmother's for Christmas.

Bernadette: I don't even know where to begin.
Raj: Well, in The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews says, "Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start."
Bernadette: Oh, I was gonna start at the end. Thank God you're here.

Bernadette: I should probably keep this in case we have a girl.
Raj: Oh, that's a nice one. Was it yours when you were little?
Bernadette: My dad built it for me.
Raj: Wow, it's so cute.
Bernadette: This was the husband and this was the wife. They'd go out on adventures together. Cruises, skiing, horseback riding. That was really me just duct taping them to our dog.
Raj: Oh, and did they have kids?
Bernadette: They did, but the mommy and daddy didn't like them, so they shipped them off to an orphanage I made out of a shoebox.
Raj: Yeah, that's not worrisome at all.

Bernadette: Not every girl dreams about being a mom. Sometimes you think you're never gonna have kids and one day you wake up and you're pregnant. And it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog!

Raj: So, uh, instead of cleaning out the room, why don't we just decide on a theme for the nursery?
Bernadette: Does it really need one?]
Raj: Of course it does. Didn't your baby room have a theme?
Bernadette: Well, it doubled as my dad's office, and he was a cop, so I guess the theme was bloody homicide photos.
Raj: Oh. Mine was Winnie the Pooh.