Bernadette: It's okay, you should go.
Howard: You sure?
Bernadette: Of course.
Penny: Yeah, give her a break from, well, come on.
Sheldon: Well, Bernadette, looks like Saturday night, it's you and me.
Bernadette: Me? How? Why?

Raj: I appreciate the apology, but it's really not necessary. I overstepped my bounds.
Howard: No, Raj, you've been great. I just, I need to start doing my part around here.
Bernadette: I hear that.

Howard: What? Are you gonna cry?
Bernadette: Yeah.
Howard: Is it baby hormones or actually sad?
Bernadette: I can't tell anymore.
Howard: I'll go get him.
Bernadette: And bring back the bear!

Howard: You feel like Raj is getting a little carried away with all the baby stuff?
Bernadette: I don't think so. He just wants to be part of the experience.
Howard: All right, if you say so. What's in the box?
Bernadette: Oh, it's an ultrasonic microphone so we can hear the baby's heartbeat.
Howard: Oh. That's cool. Can we try it?
Bernadette: Actually, Raj ordered it. He made me promise to wait till he was here.
Howard: So he can be part of the experience?
Bernadette: Yeah.
Howard: I'm surprised he let us conceive without him.
Bernadette: It's a sore spot, don't bring it up.

Penny: I mean, it's crazy, isn't it? I moved here from Nebraska to be an actress, and now I'm sitting in an engineering lab at Caltech helping to build a prototype for a high-tech guidance system.
Bernadette: It is crazy. It's also crazy that I've made fourteen of these and you've made three.

Bernadette: Sometimes he solders at home with his shirt off. It's like a beer commercial.

Raj: Seriously, guys, I don't want to know.
Amy: Oh, my.
Raj: Oh, come on, you can't say "Oh, my!" and then not tell me!
Amy: These things go for $500 and up.
Bernadette: Damn! All I got for Valentine's Day was a postcard saying my Vermont Teddy Bear was back-ordered.

Bernadette: You don't think she'd actually send you something gross or dangerous, do you?
Penny: I know one way to find out. Sniff this.
Amy: She's pregnant, she's not a bloodhound.
Bernadette: Although I am getting a little machine oil. I think it's metal.

Bernadette: We were out one night, and things got a little spontaneous.
Amy: Oh, that sounds juicy.
Bernadette: Well, Sheldon was going on and on about time zones and railroad schedules, and I went out-
Penny: Wait, I remember that. Hang on. You did it at our place?
Bernadette: Kind of on Sheldon's bed.
Amy: What?!
Penny: No!
Bernadette: I was headed to the bathroom, and I passed Howie on his way out. Usually he says, "Do not go in there," but this time he said, "Hey, let's go in here."

Bernadette: Yeah, it's all real exciting.
Penny: Are-are you not happy about this?
Bernadette: I am. Of course I am. I'm sure it's just the hormones. But it's weird. Howie's the one who's been talking about having kids for years, and I was all excited to tell him because I thought he'd be thrilled, but then he started to flip out and now this feels like a bad idea and I'm gonna get fat.
Penny: No, no, come on. Come on, you're not gonna get fat. You're gonna be beautiful and glowing and have the cutest little baby bump ever.
Bernadette: Easy for you to say, skinny bitch.

Bernadette: If you're really worried, we'll take him to the vet and have him tested. Good.
Howard: Thank you. Oh, okay, there is a test! All they have to do is ... cut off his head and check his brain.
Bernadette: Oh, cut off his head? That's where his little nose is.

Raj: All right. I've made up my mind. I'm gonna do the right thing, call this girl, and let her know that I'm in a relationship.
Howard: Okay, so far we've heard, "Made up my mind, I'm dumping Emily."
Bernadette: "Made up my mind to date both of them by pretending to be twin brothers."
Howard: And "Made up my mind, 'll ask for a threesome and if they say no, play it off as a joke."
Raj: I'm calling her. And the threesome didn't deserve the belly laugh it got.
Bernadette: You're right. It could totally happen. (laughing)

Bernadette: I brought you a little care package from work. It's our latest antiviral and the best decongestant we make.
Sheldon: I hope laughter is the best medicine, 'cause this care package is a joke.
Howard: Hey, she came all the way here- (Sheldon sneezes on Howard)
Bernadette: (Handing Howard the care package) You're gonna want to take these with food.

Bernadette: Boy, when was the last time Stuart cleaned this place?
Howard: No kidding. Oh, okay, I'm about to suck something up. What do you think this object sounds like?
Bernadette: Howie, I don't want to play Lego, Toenail or Pill anymore.

Bernadette: Oh, look. The teddy bear Stuart won the night we took him to the fair.
Howard: Oh, he was so excited.
Bernadette: Yeah. You know, no matter how hard they tried, they could not guess his age.