Leonard: Okay, we saw them. Can we go catch the movie?
Bernadette: Why'd you bring him?
Penny: I had to. We're married now.
Bernadette: Ugh, I hear that.

Bernadette: Hey, you want to swing by that place tonight and get a look at this guy?
Penny: We don't even know what time they're gonna be there.
Bernadette: I'll just call the restaurant, pretend I'm Amy and check the reservation.
Penny: Damn, you're sneaky.
Bernadette: Yeah, but I'm little, so it's adorable.

Amy: Do you have any heels higher than this? He's pretty tall.
Bernadette: Ooh, tall! Finally some details about this mystery man.

Bernadette: So I should probably explain why I kind of fibbed.
Howard: That would be nice.
Bernadette: I told my dad that you were the one who didn't want kids because I didn't want to disappoint him.
Howard: But you were okay throwing me under the bus?
Bernadette: Turns out yeah, I didn't think twice about it.

Bernadette: All right. Let's start over. I'm redecorating. The furniture, the carpeting, the walls. I'm changing everything that depresses me when I look at it. Try not to be one of those things.

Bernadette: Howie?
Howard: What's up?
Bernadette: Why does your Fitbit say you ran 174 miles yesterday?

Bernadette: Hey, if you're open to living with someone great, I'll give you $1,000 to take Stuart.
Amy: You really should've gone on the Internet and checked how long that kind of thing lives before you got one.
Bernadette: I'm sorry. I just thought you might have a pasty, weirdo-shaped hole in your life.

Penny: Thanks a lot, guys.
Bernadette: What did we do?
Penny: Before I made that call, my pig was alive and happy and rolling around in the mud. Now he's illegally buried in our backyard next to my great-grandmother.
Bernadette: Really? They didn't eat him?
Penny: No! He was a beloved member of the family.
Bernadette: The breakfast meat family?

Bernadette: If you think about it, without you he never would have grown into the person he is now. I mean sure, more women may notice him, but I think it's better to have a guy be with you because he wants to be, and not because he doesn't think he has any other choice.
Penny: I never thought about it like that.
Bernadette: Me neither. Not until just now.

Penny: Am I being naive?
Bernadette: I don't know. This is all so new to me. I'm still processing.

Penny: What do you think?
Bernadette: I don't know what to think, but then I just found out about it.

Bernadette: Aww, that was beautiful.
Howard: Yeah. I mean, not like our wedding beautiful.
Bernadette: No, we totally won.

Bernadette: Did you eat all my yoghurt?
Howard: You mean the one that makes ladies do the thing that ladies pretend they don't do even though they do?
Bernadette: You know... which yoghurt I mean.

Raj: Baloney, okay? You two are as afraid of hurting someone's feelings as I am.
Bernadette: That's not true. We were just laughing right in your face.

Bernadette: I think if Raj wants to break up with a girl, he can do it.
Howard: How are you saying that with a straight face?
Bernadette: *laughs* I don't know.