Bernadette: Anyway, it'll be a nice surprise for the boys. And Howie doesn't think I take his interests seriously, so hopefully this will keep him fooled for a while.

Amy: Did you watch Professor Proton when you were a kid?
Bernadette: No. My dad controlled the TV, so unless someone was a Texas Ranger, Jake or the Fat Man, we didn't see it.

Bernadette: I got into science because I was always the smallest kid in the school. I thought if I became a scientist I could invent a formula that made me taller.
Amy: That's cute.
Bernadette: I thought it was working for a while, but then I found out my brother was just lowering the pencil marks on the door frame.

Amy: We were hoping it might cheer you up.
Bernadette: And even though it meant we had to miss the movies, we could still be part of the fun.
Howard: Oh, you didn't miss anything. We just started over.
Bernadette: Son of a bitch.

Amy: Did you lie to Howard about tonight?
Bernadette: Of course.
Amy: And you don't like feel guilty about it?
Bernadette: Between Penny's gorilla movie and Howard's gorilla mother, I had no choice.

Leonard: Thankfully, Penny and I have a relationship built around honesty.
*Amy and Bernadette chuckle*
Leonard: What? I don't lie to her.
Bernadette: Oh, we know you don't lie to her.

Bernadette: I have to go. Penny ratted me out. FYI, she's getting you a watch for your birthday with money she took out of your wallet.

Raj: Have you heard from Howard?
Bernadette: I did. His talk at NASA went great.
Penny: Sheldon didn't heckle him?
Bernadette: No. In fact, he was so well behaved Howard bought him a Buzz Aldrin bobblehead and astronaut ice cream.

Bernadette: I told Howard if I wasn't busy I'd spend the night at his mom's. So for God's sake, think of something.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Penny: Oh, Stuart. Now I kinda feel bad for murdering you.
Raj: Oh, come on!
Bernadette: Penny did it! I win! Suck it, jackasses!

Bernadette: I said to stop insulting each other. I didn't tell you to take him on a romantic getaway.

Bernadette: Now there's two of them.

Amy: I don't know what made me think tonight would be any different.
Bernadette: Well just the fact you got him up here says a lot. To be honest, I bet Howie $200 that it wasn't going to happen.
Howard: I'm going to the Lego Store to get a big-ass R2D2.
Bernadette: See, it's not just Sheldon, they're all idiots.
Howard: She's right.

Bernadette: Those tickets were pretty expensive. I had to give Howie an advance on his allowance. Now he's never going to put his toys away.