Amy: Well, when we were going through security, I got pulled out of line for a pat-down. The TSA agent got a little handsy. I may have broken her nose with my elbow.
Bernadette: Long story short, she's on the No Fly List and we might have been followed here by a drone.

Bernadette: Well, you were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller.
Howard: No, I wasn't. You were.
Bernadette: No, I wasn't.
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Yeah, well, you throw like a girl.

Bernadette: Hang on, you've had her for hours?
Raj: Yes. I picked her up, and then we both went for massages to try and calm down. And then we got Pinkberry.
Bernadette: So you knew she was okay, and you couldn't pick up the phone to tell us?
Raj: Well, I, I thought about-
Bernadette: Don't well me, mister. We've been worried sick. She could have been dead for all we knew. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Raj: Sorry. I, I just-
Bernadette: Sorry's not good enough. Maybe you need to take some time and think about what you've done. (ends the Skype call)
Howard: Nice guilt trip. You are gonna be an amazing mom!

Penny: It's just, he's so passionate about so many different things. I just don't get that way. Do you?
Bernadette: Well, sure. I'm pretty passionate about science. I remember the first time I looked through a microscope and saw millions of tiny microorganisms. It was like a whole other universe. If I wanted to, I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god.

Bernadette: I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big but it's not worth it.

Bernadette: Sheldon, I've been cooking all day.
Sheldon: Well, now don't you feel silly.
Bernadette: (To Howard) Show him the closet.

Bernadette: Just seeing that letter freaked him out. And he was already having a tough day, 'cause he accidentally wore my pants to work. I don't know why he was upset. They were bigger on him than me.

Bernadette: Every one of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me. See what happens!

Bernadette: We can't all be Cinderella.
Amy: Then how do we decide?
Bernadette: Well, it's simple. This was my idea. I'm driving. I'm Cinderella. You bitches got a problem with that, we could stop the car right now.

Bernadette: It smells pretty ripe in here. You kinda feel it in your eyes.

Bernadette: Smells ripe in here. You can kinda feel it in your eyes.

Bernadette: Sorry doesn't clean my underpants, buddy.

Bernadette: If you like pushing buttons so much, try pushing them on the washing machine.

Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.

Bernadette: No, here's how love works. You're gonna return the machine or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
Howard: [pondering]
Bernadette: Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?