Amy: There aren't gonna be any wedding photos. My fiancee's a germophobe. If he finds out I'm contagious, he'll never come back from Texas.
Bernadette: What if we tell him the theme of the wedding is Walking Dead and this is our zombie makeup?
Amy: That'll probably work. We'll call that plan B.

Howard: He says he has to work.
Bernadette: Oh, it's okay. We can have date night another night.
Howard: But you got all dressed up. We were supposed to have dinner and romance.
Bernadette: We'll just have to divide and conquer. I'll go to dinner, and you can stay home with the Internet and have romance.

Bernadette: You ready to go?
Howard: Yeah, let me just grab a couple of fresh turtlenecks.
Bernadette: I don't understand why you keep your stuff here when there's plenty of room at home.
Howard: What are you talking about? All I have here is a few sweaters, books, bank stuff, computers, mail, collectibles, medicine and my electric body groomer. Ooh, there's my plaid dickie. Oh, got this at the Goodwill store for 50 cents. Can you believe it?
Bernadette: 50 cents sounds right.

Penny: Little finger sandwiches, too. This place is amazing.
Bernadette: Interesting thing about finger sandwiches: you put enough of them together, you got a sandwich.

Amy: This is it. This is the one. Do you love it?
Penny: Do you?
Amy: I do.
Penny: Wow.
Bernadette: Also, wow.

Bernadette: Well, that was a successful trip.
Penny: Yes. Amy found a dress that she liked.
Bernadette: She sure did. She found a dress that looked like like it made her happy.
Penny: She-she did look happy. I mean, her face was just glowing, so-
Bernadette: Yeah, we should make sure the photographer knows to just really get in there.
Penny: Mm. So we agree it's awful?
Bernadette: That dress should be set on fire!

Penny: Should we say something?
Bernadette: No, we can't.
Penny: But don't you think she brought us with her 'cause she wants our honest opinion?
Bernadette: No one wants that.
Penny: I do.
Bernadette: No, ya don't.
Penny: I don't want her to look back and think she made some awful mistake.
Bernadette: You mean like your dumb Cookie Monster tattoo? See? Was that fun?

Amy: Well, what about my dress? Don't you like it?
Penny: I don't.
Bernadette: It's beautiful.

Penny: Hey, I can't believe you just threw me under the bus.
Bernadette: I know, right? That was crazy.

Bernadette: How many out-of-town guests are there gonna be?
Amy: I'm actually not sure. Turns out Sheldon didn't invite his brother.
Penny: Mm. Now it's starting to sound like a wedding.
Amy: And his mom said she won't come if his brother's not there.
Bernadette: Ooh, now it's starting to sound like a good wedding.

Bernadette: Aren't you worried it's a little intense to ask someone you just met to go to a wedding?
Raj: (sighs) I'm running out of time. Wh-Wh-Why can't there be a service where you can just pay someone to be your date for the evening?
Bernadette: Like an escort service?
Raj: No, no, no. Y-You wouldn't be paying for sex. I mean, obviously if things went well, it could lead to sex, but, but the money is for, like, you know, her time and companionship.
Bernadette: Oh, I get it an escort service.
Raj: Stop saying that.
Bernadette: Stop meaning it.

Penny: [answering video call, seeing Bernadette's case of pinkeye] Oh, my God.
Bernadette: Yeah, I got it, too.
Penny: Wow. You really can't keep your hands off Howard, can you?
Bernadette: I know, I have a problem.

Penny: I'm gonna need everyone's help. Think of this as one of your comic book movies. There's a bunch of superheroes, each with a different task.
Raj: Oh, like the new Avengers.
Bernadette: Which one was that?
Howard: The one you slept through last weekend.
Bernadette: Oh, that was a good nap.

Bernadette: "I heart New York." Aw, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this.

Bernadette: The same thing happened to me. Penny said she didn't want kids, and I told her she was being silly, and she accused me of being condescending. Which is crazy, because if I wanted to be condescending, I would've said, "Ooh, 'condescending.' That's such a big word."