Raj: Have you heard from Howard?
Bernadette: I did. His talk at NASA went great.
Penny: Sheldon didn't heckle him?
Bernadette: No. In fact, he was so well behaved Howard bought him a Buzz Aldrin bobblehead and astronaut ice cream.

Bernadette: I told Howard if I wasn't busy I'd spend the night at his mom's. So for God's sake, think of something.

Bernadette: I said to stop insulting each other. I didn't tell you to take him on a romantic getaway.

Amy: I don't know what made me think tonight would be any different.
Bernadette: Well just the fact you got him up here says a lot. To be honest, I bet Howie $200 that it wasn't going to happen.
Howard: I'm going to the Lego Store to get a big-ass R2D2.
Bernadette: See, it's not just Sheldon, they're all idiots.
Howard: She's right.

Bernadette: Now there's two of them.

Penny: Let me ask you a question. When did you guys start feeling grown up? Because I'm not sure I do.
Bernadette: Honestly, I thought when I got married I would, but I still feel like I'm pretending. It doesn't help that most of my clothes come from Gap Kids.

Penny: I mean really, what's so great about being grown up?
Bernadette: Well for starters, we'd be splitting this check three ways.

Amy: There sure are a lot of little kids here.
Penny: I can't believe we thought this would make us feel grown up.
Bernadette: I can't believe the waiter thought I was your daughter.

Bernadette: Those tickets were pretty expensive. I had to give Howie an advance on his allowance. Now he's never going to put his toys away.

Jesse: You're back.
Bernadette: *Angry voice* Yes, I am. There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine. And he's a much nicer person than you are. And if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jesse: No problem. Want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No, I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jesse: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better!

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Howard: I'm serious. Go to the mall, talk to anybody. Practice. That way when you eventually do talk to a cute girl, it won't be so scary.
Bernadette: Or just keep dating the possum.

Howard: If you're initimated by talking to attractive girls, maybe you should practice by talking to regular people.
Raj: You mean like fatties and uggos?
Bernadette: Or maybe just stop talking.

Howard: I've never done this before, it's kinda fun.
Raj: Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy, she'd have a heart attack.
Bernadette: Good idea. I'll take a picture.

Bernadette: Aww, Raj did the dishes.
Howard: How do you know I didn't do them?
Bernadette: Because once when all the knives were dirty, you cut a bagel with your keys.