Sheldon: What do you want, Howard?
Howard: We were just calling to see if you'd heard yet.
Sheldon: We haven't.
Amy: But thank you for getting up so early to call. That was very thoughtful.
Bernadette: Oh, please. We have two little kids. We've been up for an hour.

Howard: Dinner ready?
Bernadette: Not unless you cooked.

Howard: Somebody just peed in the big girl potty.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm so proud! It was her, right?
Howard: Yes.

Howard: What? Are you gonna cry?
Bernadette: Yeah.
Howard: Is it baby hormones or actually sad?
Bernadette: I can't tell anymore.
Howard: I'll go get him.
Bernadette: And bring back the bear!

Leonard: Anyway, I figured I can hang out with my friends and have fun too.
Bernadette: Well if your idea of fun is riding in a minivan to Target for diapers, things are about to get nuts.

Bernadette: Sorry things worked out like that.
Raj: Because I'm in pain or because you don't have a spy anymore?
Bernadette: Let's just leave it at "I'm sorry." You're already sad.

Howard: Quick question: Does it happen to do with online tastes that might or might not reflect their real-life tastes?
Bernadette: I know all about your tall girl website. It goes on our credit card.

Bernadette: Almost there. You're doing great.
Howard: Thanks for lifting my spirits. Next time, try lifting the box.

Bernadette: We were out one night, and things got a little spontaneous.
Amy: Oh, that sounds juicy.
Bernadette: Well, Sheldon was going on and on about time zones and railroad schedules, and I went out-
Penny: Wait, I remember that. Hang on. You did it at our place?
Bernadette: Kind of on Sheldon's bed.
Amy: What?!
Penny: No!
Bernadette: I was headed to the bathroom, and I passed Howie on his way out. Usually he says, "Do not go in there," but this time he said, "Hey, let's go in here."

Bernadette: I'm clearly upset. Why aren't you following me?

Bernadette: Howie, can you get that?
Howard: Kind of busy.
Bernadette: Busy like I'll be with the baby if you go to San Diego?

Penny: Will you go with me?
Bernadette: To do what? Shake a can of nickels at them?

Howard: Uh, I was thinking maybe one of us should stay home full-time, with the kids.
Bernadette: Oh great, so I have to give up my job and everything I've worked for?
Howard: Actually, I was thinking I should stay home.
Bernadette: Oh, so I have to abandon my children and go back to work, while you get to stay home and bond with them?
Howard: You just said you didn't want to.
Bernadette: No, I don't want to have to, but if I want to, I should get to.
Howard: Do you want to?
Bernadette: Maybe I do.
Howard: What if I also want to?
Bernadette: Well, I don't know, we can't both stay home.
Howard: Don't you think you should go back to work, because you make more money?
Bernadette: Don't you think you should make more money?
Howard: I think it's pretty sexist of you to say a dad can't stay home with his children.
Bernadette: You know what else is sexist, the phrase "suck it", yet here we are.

Amy: She always this crabby when she urinates?
Bernadette: We're really not that close.