Amy: Outstanding. And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS and pick you out a nice toothbrush. I call mine Gerard.
Bernadette: That's a bit sad.

Howard: What's so funny?
Bernadette: Nothing. Just thinking about the noises people make during sex.
Howard: I do sometimes get a bit carried away, don't I?
Bernadette: It's cute. You sound a little like a drunken monkey. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!
Howard: You know it's meant as a compliment.
Bernadette: That's how I take it.

Bernadette: Sure. I think all branches of science have to move cautiously these days. It's not just giant nuclear weapons that can destroy the world. As a microbiologist, I can tell you even the tiniest organisms can still tear you a new one.
Howard: Interesting. I think what you might need to know about my colleague is that though she claims her field of interest is tiny organisms, she certainly has spent her fair share of time around what we can assume was pretty massive weaponry.
Bernadette: I think Mr. Wolowitz needs to keep in mind that the past is the past. But he should know that I am the kind of girl who could get all the giant missiles she wants.

Bernadette: It's what I do with Howard. I'm much smarter than he is. But it's important to protect his manhood.

Bernadette: Oh, I take pacts very seriously. One time at my lab, a petri dish of genetically modified super-virus went missing. That day we made a pinky swear never to admit we crossed Ebola with the common cold.
Howard: Why the hell would you cross Ebola with the common cold?
Bernadette: We never did. That would be a terrible, terrible thing.

Bernadette: Howard, a girl doesn't go out with a man like you, with your looks, your fancy patter, and your tight hoochie pants if she's not expecting him to eventually make the move.

Bernadette: (To Sheldon) Brush your teeth and go to bed!

Leonard: I hope you're hungry, Bernadette. We're going to a terrific restaurant.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, I'm starved. When you spend all day in a bio-lab, watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents it really works up an appetite.

Leonard: Maybe we should just stop talking about this.
Penny: Maybe some of us should stop talking altogether.
Waiter: How is everything tonight?
Bernadette: Really uncomfortable.

Bernadette: This isn't a nonfat yogurt, this is fatty-fat-fat!

Howard: Just giving the lady the old tour of the salt mines.
Bernadette: (Giggling) He doesn't mean salt mines , he means where he works.

Bernadette: My mother wouldn't let me ride a bicycle because she was afraid I might hit a bump and lose my virginity.

Howard: How about computers? You like computers?
Bernadette: I use them, I don't like them.

Leonard: I think you'll find my work pretty interesting. I'm attempting to replicate the dark matter signal found in sodium iodide crystals by the Italians.
Beverly Hofstadter: So, no original research?
Leonard: No.
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, what's the point of my seeing it? I could just read the paper the Italians wrote.