Penny: It's kind of heavy.
Bernadette: Too bad you're not as strong as the dude in the painting.

Bernadette: And just to be safe, when you talk to him don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.

Bernadette: Who's Siri? Is he dating someone new?
Howard: Yes, his phone.
Bernadette: Is that cute? Or creepy?

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
Howard: Why not?
Bernadette: I'm a very vengeful person.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: With access to weaponized smallpox.

Bernadette: Oh, boo-hoo, you're not going to space!

Bernadette: I'm too small for Twister. And roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.

Howard: How about computers? You like computers?
Bernadette: I use them, I don't like them.

Bernadette: (Sounding like Mrs. Wolowitz) He wants butter!

Bernadette: (Yelling at Raj) I'M NICE TO EVERYONE!

Howard: Just giving the lady the old tour of the salt mines.
Bernadette: (Giggling) He doesn't mean salt mines , he means where he works.

Bernadette: This isn't a nonfat yogurt, this is fatty-fat-fat!

Priya: What happened?
Bernadette: Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't.

Bernadette: My mother wouldn't let me ride a bicycle because she was afraid I might hit a bump and lose my virginity.

Amy: Outstanding. And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS and pick you out a nice toothbrush. I call mine Gerard.
Bernadette: That's a bit sad.