Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz Quotes Page 5 of 30

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Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Leonard: Maybe it is a little like Penny. Any chance she'll be flattered?
Bernadette: I don't know. She's pretty mean.
Leonard: Ilsa or Penny?
Bernadette: Exactly.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Bernadette: He told you all this at the planetarium?
Raj: No, no, we went to House of Pies. He got banana cream. I got coconut. We did halfsies.
Howard: You did pie halfsies with another man?
Bernadette: You mean other than you?
Howard: Yeah.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: So I guess what's bugging me is that they only broke up 13 days ago, and now I'm dating her. So, am I, like, the good guy in my movie, or the bad guy in their movie?
Bernadette: Pretty sure you're the weird friend in our movie.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

[Howard playing keyboard in bed with headphones, making a clacking noise]
Bernadette: What is happening?
Howard: I was trying not to wake you.
Bernadette: Did it work?

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Bernadette: When I went by the office they gave me coffee and cookies and no one peed on me. I miss that so much.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: So, listen, I have a secret that I need to tell someone. But you can never say a word. Not even to Howard.
Bernadette: I'm your girl. Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Really? You keep things from your husband?
Bernadette: No, I tell him everything. Don't be a child.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Bernadette: Oh, I take pacts very seriously. One time at my lab, a petri dish of genetically modified super-virus went missing. That day we made a pinky swear never to admit we crossed Ebola with the common cold.
Howard: Why the hell would you cross Ebola with the common cold?
Bernadette: We never did. That would be a terrible, terrible thing.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Bernadette: The thing is, my mother worked full-time. I had to take care of my brothers and sisters.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Bernadette: Ugh, it was horrible. With their snotty noses and their poopy diapers and their little shrieky voices, always complaining. I don't want to get dressed. Joey keeps spitting in my mouth. This isn't the way Mom makes waffles. Well, okay, put your hand in here. Let's see how you like this waffle!

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Bernadette: If you really want to help, put on a rubber glove, reach on up there and start pulling.
Penny: I know you're joking, but I grew up on a farm. I'll do it.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Bernadette: Halley's awake and ready for her party!
Howard: Be right up!
Penny: Ooh, I want to see the birthday girl.
Raj: I'd love to see her.
Bernadette: Walk slow. It takes a while to get this bra back on.

Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation

Bernadette: Why don't you stand up to them?
Howard: What am I supposed to say?
Bernadette: I don't know. Say, being mean is lame, what's cool is being nice.

Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Sheldon: It's remarkable. All that time spent in fear. And for what? He's magnificent. Oh, dear. I just realized I haven't offered you a beverage.
Bernadette: Oh, it's just like my grandma with her parrot. And after she lost her marbles with her remote control.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Howard: What's so funny?
Bernadette: Nothing. Just thinking about the noises people make during sex.
Howard: I do sometimes get a bit carried away, don't I?
Bernadette: It's cute. You sound a little like a drunken monkey. Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!
Howard: You know it's meant as a compliment.
Bernadette: That's how I take it.

Quote from the episode The Fish Guts Displacement

Amy: Okay, okay, here's the deal. I don't need your medicine. I'm not sick.
Bernadette: I don't understand.
Amy: I got better two days ago. It's just been so nice having Sheldon take care of me.
Bernadette: So you've just been lying to him?
Amy: See the stuff in my nose? Rubber cement.
Bernadette: I don't mean to be judgy, but this is the kind of thing lunatics do.

Quote from the episode The Proton Resurgence

Bernadette: Hang on, you've had her for hours?
Raj: Yes. I picked her up, and then we both went for massages to try and calm down. And then we got Pinkberry.
Bernadette: So you knew she was okay, and you couldn't pick up the phone to tell us?
Raj: Well, I, I thought about-
Bernadette: Don't well me, mister. We've been worried sick. She could have been dead for all we knew. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Raj: Sorry. I, I just-
Bernadette: Sorry's not good enough. Maybe you need to take some time and think about what you've done. (ends the Skype call)
Howard: Nice guilt trip. You are gonna be an amazing mom!

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