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Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bert: Thanks for coming to the mineral and rock show with me.
Raj: We’re sorry Amy didn't want to go.
Howard: Really, really sorry.
Bert: Eh. Who needs her when I have you guys? Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock sho-o-o-o-ow!

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Bert: (To Lucy, after speaking to Raj) You can do better!

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Raj: Excuse me, I’m meeting a girl here. It’s kind of our first date.
Bert: In a library?
Raj: She and I are both a little awkward in social situations, so this seemed like a good idea.
Bert: People say I’m a little awkward, too.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Amy: I'm sure it's just 'cause I'm dating Sheldon.
Bert: Mm, actually, I think Sheldon's popular because he's dating you.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Amy: Hi, Bert. This is my friend, Penny.
Penny: Hi.
Bert: Hey, come on in. I'll gonna go turn on some rock music.
Amy: (chuckles) That's a geology joke. Bert's a geologist.
Bert: And a joker.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Bert: She was also interested in walking around my house in her underwear. Now the only one that does that is me.

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Bert: I met her on G-Harmony. That's a Web site for geologists to find love.
Amy: That's a real thing?
Bert: Yeah. Their slogan is "We're all about dating and not the carbon-14 kind".

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Bert: Well, I really envy your relationship. Other than you two only having sex once a year, you're the perfect couple.

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