Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Howard: Hey, uh, the bride and groom seem to be running a little behind. Do you think you could stall?
Mark Hamill: Stall? How?
Howard: Hey, everybody! Uh, it's gonna be a few more minutes, but while we wait, does anyone have any questions about Star Wars? *lots of hands go up* You got this.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Raj: W-What is he doing here?
Howard: I found his dog and guilted him into officiating the wedding. Don't tell Sheldon. It's a surprise.
Raj: Wait, I-I thought Wil was officiating the wedding.
Howard: Yeah, so did he.
Raj: How did he take the news?
Howard: I'll let you know.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Mark Hamill: Anyway, thanks so much. I-I want to give you a reward for finding him.
Howard: (chuckles) Oh, no, I couldn't take your money. It's just an honor to meet you.
Mark Hamill: No. No, please. You don't know what this dog means to me, and I thought he was gone for good. Please? There must be something I can do for you. Anything.
Howard: Oh, you're gonna regret that.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Mark Hamill: Thank you so much for finding this guy. Oh, my goodness. Hey, Bark.
How are you, buddy?
Howard: Y-Your dog's name is Bark?
Mark Hamill: Yeah.
Howard: Bark Hamill?
Mark Hamill: Yeah. Well, I let the fans name him online. I got lucky, though. He was almost Honey Baked Hamill.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

*Howard answers his front door*
Mark Hamill: Hi.
Howard: I'm gonna need a minute. [closes the door] That's Mark Hamill!

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Howard: Hey, Bernie. Hey, how do you know if someone has pink eye?
Bernadette: Um, their eye would be red, swollen and probably oozy.
Howard: Okay, thanks. Both kids have pink eye.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Raj: Anyone seen Sheldon?
Leonard: Last time I saw Sheldon was this morning.
Howard: Careful. Don't say his name a third time.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: Ordinary people can't beat a casino, but mathematicians and scientists, they do it all the time. Yeah, a group of students from MIT took Las Vegas for millions, and that's MIT. Howard went there.
Howard: Come on, Sheldon. I'll give you a ride out to the desert right now.
Leonard: No one is going to Vegas.
Howard: No, we weren't gonna make it to Vegas.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: I'm not waiting for the university to come around. I'll find another way to raise the money.
Raj: Ooh, if it's one of those booths where we can throw a pie at you, I'm in for, like, 20 bucks.
Howard: 40 bucks if I can throw a DVD player.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Bernadette: There goes date night.
Howard: Are you kidding? Stuart's here! Get your purse. We're going out.
Bernadette: What about the dinner you made?
Howard: Right. Hey, Stuart! That can of soup sitting by the stove, that's for you!
Bernadette: You made canned soup for date night?
Howard: And you wore sweatpants. Let's go.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Bernadette: What's all this?
Howard: Well, we missed our date night, and Stuart's working again, so I thought we could have a date night here at home.
Bernadette: Aw, that's so sweet.
Howard: Oh. So is that really what you're wearing to our date night?
Bernadette: Well, Stuart's not here and the kids are sleeping. I could wear nothing.
Howard: You might want to hold off on that, we're starting with soup.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Howard: I talked to her yesterday. She really seems to know her stuff.
Sheldon: Challenge accepted.
Howard: That is not what that was.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Howard: You look great.
Bernadette: Oh, thanks. Would you believe this is actually a dress from before I was pregnant?
Howard: Well, it's not a competition, but I wore this suit to my Bar Mitzvah.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Penny: No, there's something fuzzy.
Howard: Is it your teen years?
Penny: No. Yes. Shut up.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Stuart: Obviously, vibranium is the most powerful metal in comics.
Raj: What, more powerful than adamantium?
Sheldon: He's right. Wolverine's claws, Ultron's outer shell. Need I go on?
Howard: You don't need to, but you probably will.

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