Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 60

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?
Howard: Is that Wonder Woman?
Raj: Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
Howard: Then I take it back; it's a great party.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Really? You're not gonna sit here?
Raj: I'll sit there as soon as you leave.
Howard: You're still on this? I said sorry.
Raj: Well, "sorry" doesn't make up for years of emotional abuse.
Howard: (sighs) Well, what's it gonna take? You want half my sandwich?

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Raj: I'd be in charge of developing and narrating all the planetarium shows. And I really want this, so it wouldn't kill you to be more supportive.
Howard: But if it did, you could bury me at the funeral home you direct.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Oh, good. Raj is here to tell us today's specials.
Raj: Very funny. I have my interview this afternoon.
Howard: Oh. If it doesn't work out, you're ready to go on your Mormon mission.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Look, I I can see you're upset, but I'm gonna need some ground rules. I mean, while we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Hey, is that Raj there at girls' night? Well, hey.
Raj: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Just remember, if you fall asleep first, they're gonna freeze your bra.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.
Howard: I forget, which mental hospital are you guys registered at?

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: You know what, if you need a computer, you can use my laptop.
Penny: Oh, that's sweet, but I'm not gonna take your computer.
Leonard: Oh, it's fine. I-I'm getting a new one anyway.
Penny: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. He's desperate to hold on to you. You can get anything out of him. His car, his watch-
Howard: Maybe a kidney. You already have his testicles. You can start a collection.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends!
Howard: They're not my little friends, and we don't want cookies!
Leonard: Actually, a cookie sounds good.
Howard: All right, we'll have cookies! Thank you very much!

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: Aw, man, what happened?
Howard: It crashed. It's been doing that lately. I think it's got a virus from all the music I've been downloading.
Raj: What kind of music?
Howard: Mostly Asian. Some oldies.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: How about you?
Howard: Oh, that depends on whether I tell Bernadette or not.
Bernadette: Howard, I can hear you. The baby monitor is on.
Howard: I know. I was joking. I'm gonna put it in a college fund. (Mimes saying no)

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: If it's not tangible, how do you know it's not just gonna vanish tomorrow?
Howard: Really? You're dating Penny, and you're gonna poke at something that could vanish tomorrow?

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: Maybe we should double date. I'll bring Penny and you can bring your mom.
Howard: Oh, make your jokes, but my date started a savings account for me. Did yours?

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Raj: Why are they making four more Avatar movies? It's not like the first one is even that good.
Leonard: What are you talking about? You love that movie. You even went as Avatar for Halloween.
Howard: I remember. That was not a lot of clothes.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Leonard: She's right. Maybe we're all a bunch of Teslas after all.
Amy: Didn't Tesla die penniless, forgotten and insane?
Howard: (sighs) You may have a point about her social skills.

Showing quotes 1 to 15 of 886Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes