Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 71

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Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Amy: What are you going as?
Howard: I don't want to ruin the surprise. You'll see it at work. Just a warning: it's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Is it a bird?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Is it a dog?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Oh, I think I'll be fine, then.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Howard: Hello. [dressed like Sheldon, imitating him]
Sheldon: Hello.
Howard: I see you are dressed as Doc Brown from Back to the Future. May I assume that Amy is going as his wife, Clara Clayton, from Back to the Future Part III?
Sheldon: She is. Did you do something different to your hair?
Howard: Yes.
Sheldon: Looking good.

Quote from the episode The Planetarium Collision

Howard: Do I look like I just woke up?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Great. I'm gonna go say hey to Raj.

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Leonard: Sounds like Penny and Bernadette had fun last night.
Howard: I know. Bernie came home pretty drunk. She tried to sleep in the dryer.

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Leonard: Tam Nguyen?
Tam: Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard: No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam: Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard: Well, if you mean physically, yes.
Howard: If you mean every other way, no.

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Howard: So, he was your best friend growing up?
Tam: Yes.
Howard: Were there no other kids in Texas?

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Howard: All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name or length of grudge.
Raj: Is Tam on it?
Howard: Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard: Oh, great. What did he do?
Howard: Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay.
"Which of these are plants?" And we're in.

Quote from the episode The Tam Turbulence

Raj: Wait, wait, wait. If Tam knows what he did, we can just ask him. He's gonna be on campus tomorrow showing his son around.
Leonard: Won't that make Sheldon mad?
Raj: Everything makes Sheldon mad.
Howard: Yeah. Look at his list. Jim Henson for, quote, "putting a terrifying, giant yellow bird on television and in my nightmares."

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Bernadette: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Yeah?
Bernadette: It looks like you could crack a walnut in those glutes.
Howard: I can't. I tried.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Howard: I've known you a long time. You believe in romance more than any person I've ever met and it's hard to see you give up on that. But if you really think marrying this woman is gonna make you happy, then you have my complete and total support.
I will be with you every step of the way.
Raj: Thanks, Howard. That means a lot.
Howard: So, hey, is this wedding gonna be in India?
Raj: Ah, maybe.
Howard: Urgh.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Bernadette: How do you feel about this?
Howard: That she can clearly do better, but that's not for me to say.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Bernadette: No, with them in his room, doing stuff.
Howard: Oh, come on, we're sitting right out here. They're not gonna do anything.
["Smooth Operator" starts playing loudly in Stuart's room]
I'd like to change my answer.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Bernadette: So, Penny, we were talking to our neighbors, and they're thinking of moving and selling their house.
Penny: Really? Why?
Howard: Something about babies crying and keeping them up all night; it's not important. You guys should totally take a look at it.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Howard: Oh. Look what Halley drew.
Bernadette: Yeah, she made it at daycare.
Howard: It's pretty good, huh?
Bernadette: Is it?
Howard: Wow. Gentile moms are tough.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Stuart: I'm picking her up in an hour. What am I gonna do?!
Howard: Don't you mean what are you gonna "Oompa Loompa doompety do"?

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