Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 3 of 60

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Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: Excuse me while I go take care of your baby. Then I'll bring you your snack, and you can insult me some more.
(Penny leaves)
Howard: I don't know about you, but I am not eating whatever she brings us.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Howard: This is actually kind of nice, you and me getting to spend a couple days in bed together.
Bernadette: Yeah. Pretty soon, we're gonna have two crying babies in the house.
Howard: (sighs) I'm glad my balls hurt. It's all their fault.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: Hi, guys. Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing.
Bernadette: We're okay.
Howard: Yeah, hanging out in bed with my wife, thawing out some frozen peas in my pants-- living the dream.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: I thought Raj was helping you out.
Howard: No, he had to work. Plus, he has a quota for the amount of Indian servant jokes he can tolerate, and, apparently, I filled it.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: Don't be silly. I'll take the rest of the day off and watch Halley for you.
Bernadette: Or we can call Stuart. I'm sure he could close up the store, hop on a bus, and be here in no time.
Howard: He does love the bus.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Howard: You want to lie down, watch a movie?
Bernadette: I can't. I got my 16-week checkup to get to, and then I'll pick up some Chinese for dinner. I'll take Halley with me.
Howard: You-you sure you're not overdoing it?
Bernadette: No, it's fine.
Howard: Great. Then maybe, instead of Chinese, fire up the grill and throw on a couple of steaks? (Bernadette stares at him) Kung pao chicken, please.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Bernadette: Hi.
Howard: Hey, how was the doctor?
Bernadette: Good, but I have some news.
Howard: Don't say twins. Don't say twins. Don't say twins. Don't say twins.
Bernadette: It's not twins.
Howard: Oh. I mean, because I would have loved them both.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Bernadette: It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest, and you'll be fine.
Howard: You know nothing about Jewish people.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Raj: It says here that I need to check the area for redness and swelling.
Howard: You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Bernadette: This was your idea.
Howard: So was having sex, and look where that got us.
Bernadette: This isn't a big deal. Stop whining.
Howard: When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Bernadette: Want me to go with you?
Howard: No, I'll be fine.
Raj: (standing up to go with Howard) Yeah, we got this.
Howard: Sit down!

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Sheldon: Oh, my goodness.
Bernadette: If it's "vasectomy gone wrong" videos, he's seen them all. Including the one of the guy who's sitting on what appears to be a cantaloupe but is not.
Howard: (putting his plate of food own) And I'm done.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Sheldon: They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again.
Bernadette: I thought he passed away.
Howard: He did. He was cremated, and his remains were put in a baking soda volcano.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Howard: So, here we are, just a couple of young newlyweds. What to do? What to do to you? Astronaut Wolowitz, reporting for booty. Preparing thrusters. We have liftoff. Are we clear to jettison that nightgown?
Bernadette: Okay, we need to talk.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Howard: What?
Bernadette: Howie, I know you went to space. I'm incredibly proud of you. But you might want to try and not bring it up every minute.
Howard: I don't talk about it every minute.
Bernadette: Tonight at dinner you went on bout it for an hour straight.
Howard: What was I supposed to talk about? We were eating at Johnny Rockets.

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