Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 3 of 66

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Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Howard: Hey, Professor Proton.
Wil Wheaton: Hey, thanks for being here.
Howard: No problem. I'm on my "launch" break.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Howard: For the record, I'm the one who introduced you to House of Pies.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: I like her, okay? I just, I-I don't know how I feel about being the third wheel in a relationship.
Howard: Says the guy in my bed with my wife.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: Guys, I mean, he's around, okay? He's apparently not happy about the breakup, and based on the sweatpants he left at her place, he's, like, a medium to large man.
Howard: Maybe those are his "after the holiday" pants, like you have.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: I mean, do you think it's too soon for her to be dating? If you and Bernadette broke up, like, how long would you wait?
Howard: Oh, well, I don't even want to think-
Bernadette: Eight days.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: Two days to cry. Six days to hit the gym.
Howard: First of all, you already look amazing.
Bernadette: Aw, that's sweet.
Howard: I'm gonna give him an extra day of crying.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Howard: What are we looking at here?
Raj: Well, that's me and a beautiful woman and my watch showing the time as 2:30 in the morning.
Howard: So, state's "Exhibit A"?

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: I met her at the planetarium a few days ago, and she invited me out for a drink.
Leonard: Oh, good for you. H-Hey, w-what's the Hindi word for "dog"?
Raj: Kutta.
Leonard: You kutta.
Raj: Bho.n, bho.n. (chuckles) That's Hindi for woof-woof.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: When we gaze out at the immensities of space, we understand them because there are immensities within us as well. I'm Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and thank you for taking a walk with me ... through the stars.
Leonard: That pause gets longer every show.
Howard: I believe ... you're right.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Penny: What the hell is that?
Howard: Meatloaf.
Leonard: What was it doing on the ceiling?
Howard: That's classified.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Look, I was going over the schematics on my zero-G toilet, and I made a teeny tiny mistake on the specifications for the diverter valve.
Leonard: How teeny tiny?
Howard: It's gonna fail after about ten flushes.
Sheldon: But the mission is for six months.
Howard: Yeah, see, that's the code red. It's kind of like a jack-in-the-box, no one knows exactly when, but at some point something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: Have you notified NASA?
Howard: No. Are you crazy? What am I gonna say? I screwed up your toilet and pretty soon there's gonna be crap floating all over your nice shiny space station?

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Howard: Fine, what colour do you want?
Sheldon: You know the pale blue of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, before it was digitally remastered?
Howard: Black it is.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Leonard: Sheldon, I told you, I only have access to the free-electron laser at night. I can't drive you for the next few weeks.
Sheldon: No, you said you couldn't drive me to work, this is from work.
Leonard: Howard, help me out here.
Howard: No, just for the fun of it, I'm gonna take his side.
Sheldon: Now, how do you propose I get home?
Leonard: How did you get here in the first place?
Sheldon: Penny. But I sense that's no longer an option.
Leonard: Look, I need to get to the laser lab, you're just going to have to find someone else to take you home. [Sheldon looks to Howard]
Howard: Oh damn, I picked the wrong side.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Sheldon: So what do you think, Howard? It's not that bad, right?
Howard: A little electrical tape, some solder ... Are you insane? I've seen space probes that crashed into the desert that were in better shape than this.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Howard: What up, my Hebrews and She-brews?!

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