[Halley crying]
Howard: I'll go talk to her.
Bernadette: I don't know why she's suddenly so afraid of everything.
Howard: Honey, remember, she's my child, too.

Bernadette: Why does she even want to have scientists on?
Sheldon: Uh, silly question. Who else will give her audience causal explanations of natural phenomena?
Howard: I love you, honey, but think.

Howard: That's time.
Sheldon: Oh, really? Can we do one more?
Howard: I think these guys need to get some food.
Sheldon: By pushing a lever at the end of an obstacle course that we design?
Howard: No, by opening the door to a hangar and letting the airplane fly in.

Bernadette: Hey, Howie, everything okay?
Howard: Yeah, everything's great. I was just wondering if we had any large barbecue tongs.
Bernadette: Uh, bottom left drawer. Are you guys grilling?
Howard: Nope, just playing games with the kids.
Bernadette: Why do you need tongs?
Howard: Love you, too, bye.

Raj: Hey, this one we can do with both Michael and Halley. It's called Grabby Hands.
Leonard: Wasn't that your nickname in high school?
Howard: No, it was Mama's Boy. But the joke was on them, because I love my mom.

Amy: You know, these experiments are pretty harmless. There's one where you just put the baby in front of a mirror and you watch them watch themselves.
Raj: That sounds adorable. Let me see.
Sheldon: How come when she talks about experiments on babies, you think it's adorable, but when I do it, everyone gets upset?
Leonard: I think I can speak for all of us. You're just creepy.
Howard: No offense.

Howard: Bernadette thinks I have poor parenting skills.
Leonard: Maybe she's basing that on your poor husbanding skills.
Howard: Who can say? I'm bad at a lot of things.

Howard: Hey. You guys want to come hang out at my place this weekend?
Raj: So we can help you babysit?
Howard: Uh, it's not babysitting. They're my children.
Leonard: They're not our children.
Howard: Oh. Well, for you guys, then, it is babysitting.

Howard: What do you say? We'll play some board games. It'll be like a party.
Leonard: Three guys playing a board game doesn't sound like much of a party.
Howard: [chuckles] Someone doesn't remember college very well.

Howard: Don't worry. I got this covered.
Bernadette: I know you do. Quick question, where are the kids right now?
Howard: They're upstairs.
Bernadette: They're at daycare.
Howard: They're at daycare?
Bernadette: They're upstairs!
Howard: Why are you messing with me?

Bernadette: Now, the emergency contacts are on the fridge and I left money for food on the table.
Howard: Oh, sounds like I do get paid.

Wil Wheaton: Hello.
Howard: [imitating Shatner] Wil, Bill Shatner here.
Wil Wheaton: Is this Howard?
Howard: Of course not. It- It's Shatner. If you don't believe me, ask my good friend, Christopher Walken. [imitating Walken] Hello, Bill and I are just hanging out at The Polo Lounge.
Raj: Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken, here are your martinis. [glass dings]
Howard: [whispering in normal voice] What are you doing?
Raj: I'm filling out the world.
Howard: You're ruining it.
Wil Wheaton: No, he's not.
Raj: Thanks, Wil.

Raj: But y-you blocked your number, right?
Howard: Relax, this is not my first creepy phone call. It's like riding a bike ... slowly past a girl's house.

Sheldon: I will admit the meeting did not go the way I wanted.
Howard: [imitating Shatner] Because you barfed where no man has barfed before?

Howard: But I've done this before. And since you really, really want to go, I'll stay here.
Bernadette: Oh. Great.
Howard: Unless you don't want to because I was right and I do know you.
Bernadette: Well, if you really know me, then you know how far I'll go to prove a point.
Howard: Apparently, 34,000 feet that way, then straight back down, up and down, over and over again until you throw up food you didn't even eat.