Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 4 of 66

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Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Raj: Toby, today you are a man, and you will face many obstacles in life.
Bert: And some of those obstacles are gonna feel like boulders.
Howard: This first song is about the greatest boulder in the history of cinema.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Howard: (singing) Alone in my temple in the middle of Peru, A giant stone ball with nothing to do,
Raj: But if you steal my idol, I will roll right over you
All: Cause I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist, Yeah, I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist,
Bert: I'm gonna crush you, I'm gonna mush you, You took my idol, I'm homicidal, Gonna roll over you till your brains come out, And your bones will crunch and your blood will spout! I'm not just a rock, baby.
I'm a boulder.
All: Cause I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist, Yeah, I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist, Yeah, I'm six tons of granite-

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Howard: I just realized, now that I'm not in the band, I can focus on my own music. You know, go solo.
Bernadette: You said you were taking a break from the band to help with me and the baby.
Howard: Yes, and write an astronaut musical. Picture this. The curtain opens. There's a lone astronaut floating in the inky blackness of space. Maybe wires, maybe fog. I'll let the director figure that out. [playing the keyboard] "I really don't know when I'll run out of oxy gen".

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Howard: Good news! I'm back in the band!
Raj: So, Bernadette doesn't mind?
Howard: It was her idea!

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Leonard: I guess he forgot that I play the cello.
Howard: I-I don't think he did.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Raj: Hey, uh, what do you think we should open our show with? Uh, "Thor and Doctor Jones" or "Let's Get Astrophysical"
Howard: I don't know. I think we should start with something that gets them up on their feet. Maybe "Sherlock Around the Clock."

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leslie: Well, I would postulate that she's escaping into the online world to compensate for her sexual frustration.
Howard: I do that too. But probably in a different way.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Penny: Listen, I need to talk to Sheldon.
Howard: (Raj whispers in his ear) No, that's what she said, Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Howard: What the frak?
Leonard: Beats me. They were playing all last night too.
Raj: It's like some kind of weird comic book crossover.
Howard: Like if Hulk were dating Peppermint Patty.
Raj: I always thought Peppermint Patty was a lesbian?
Leonard: No, that's Marcie. Peppermint Patty's just athletic.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: You know, fun fact, did you know baby boys can pee straight up?
Raj: Grown-up boys, too.
Leonard: Why would we high-five that?

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Howard: So, bottom line, what you did was wrong and cruel, which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing.
Amy: So she still wants to be my maid of honor?
Howard: Maid of honor, hit woman, whatever you need. Make the call.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Amy: I'm really impressed at how you handled that, Howard.
Howard: Please. I've been sending food back my entire life. One of my first full sentences was, "I had breast milk for breakfast!"

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Howard: [In Mandarin] This is Howard Wolowitz. We didn't get our fried rice. My fat Indian friend is upset. Thank you.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Raj: That's funny. I always thought Howard was nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here.
Howard: Me, too, but life does find a way!

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Howard: Just FYI, don't try to go back with a fake moustache. I mean, they may not really be geniuses, but they see right through that.

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