Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 4 of 60

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Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Howard: That reminds me, I was thinking about wearing my NASA jumpsuit as a costume. But then I realized everyone would be, like, where's your costume? Why are you wearing your work clothes, you nut?

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Leonard: Hello, boys.
Sheldon: What are you smiling at?
Leonard: Nothing.
Howard: You know where's there's a lot of nothing?
Everyone: Space.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Howard: But you know what wasn't a party? That hotel in Kazakhstan they put you up in before the launch. I mean, it's your last night on Earth. You'd think you'd get one porn channel.
Leonard: Have you noticed that Howard can take any topic and use it to remind you that he went to space?
Sheldon: Interesting hypothesis. Let's apply the scientific method, perform an experiment.
Leonard: Okay. Hey, Howard, any thoughts on where we should get dinner?
Howard: Anywhere but the Space Station. On a good day, dinner was a bag full of meat loaf. But, hey, you dont go there for the food, you go there for the view.
Sheldon: It's fascinating. Let me see if I can duplicate the result. Howard, I've always thought the lemon was an underrated fruit. Care to weigh in?
Howard: Not really.
Sheldon: Oh, well.
Howard: You know, people say the Soyuz capsule was a lemon. But, hey, that baby got me to space and back.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Howard: You think that's impressive, take apart that brain model.
Amy: Oh my God, three of clubs. That was my card! How did you?
Howard: I used to make it appear in my pants, but HR said I had to stop doing that.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Howard: If we add phase detection to your EEG sensors, I'll have to rewrite most of the code.
Amy: Can you do that?
Howard: Well, these hands were made to do three things: close-up magic, writing code, and the dirty shadow puppet show that got me kicked out of Hebrew school.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Howard: I don't know, you guys work in the same lab.
Leonard: So?
Howard: There are pitfalls. Trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law I'm ... a bit of a self-taught expert.
Leonard: Look, Howard, if I were to ask Lesley Winkle out it would just be for dinner. I'm not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
Howard: Oh, then you're probably okay.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Howard: Sounds like your neighbor's home.
Leonard: Excuse me.
Sheldon: Don't forget the mail you took accidentally on purpose so you'd have an excuse to talk to her.
Leonard: Oh, right. Right, right, right, right.
Howard: Stealing snail mail, very old school, I like it.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Sheldon: Penny for your thoughts.
Raj: What's the matter.
Leonard: No, I'm fine. Penny's fine, the guy she's kissing is really fine and...
Howard: Kissing, what kind of kissing? Cheeks? Lips? Chaste? French?
Leonard: What is wrong with you?
Howard: I'm a romantic.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: (After leaving Raj and Stuart) At least my mother made her boyfriend climb out the window.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Raj: Oh, uh, come in, come in. Oh, I, uh, I didn't think I was going to get to see you until tomorrow.
Howard: Yeah, well, Bernadette's a little under the weather and my mom's kind of under my dentist.
Raj: Wait, your, your mother is sleeping with your dentist?
Howard: Former dentist. I need a new one now that I know where his hands have been.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Raj: So you're wandering all around by yourself? That's not the kind of hero's welcome an astronaut should come home to.
Howard: It's okay. You know, we space cowboys don't do what we do for glory and fame. We leave that to your rock stars and your athletes and your Howie Mandels.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Raj: Oh, my God, you're back. Oh, look at you. You, you look like you grew.
Howard: Yeah. The lack of gravity did decompress my spine, so I'm like an inch and a half taller. I'm going to the DMV tomorrow to get my license changed before I shrink back.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: Hey, Ma, twinkle, twinkle, your little star is home. (Fails to open the door) Ma, the chain's on the door.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard? I thought I wasn't going to see you till tomorrow.
Howard: Yeah, well, Bernie's not feeling well. So I thought I'd stop by, tell you about the greatest adventure of my life, see if you can make me feel bad about it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Uh, uh, okay. Hold on, I'm not decent.
Howard: All right. (Speaking to himself) Woman hasn't tied her robe in 20 years. Suddenly she's not decent?

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: (singing) Baruch atah, Adonai, Eloheinu. Melech haolam, hamotzi. Lechem min haaretz
Mike: What's that?
Howard: The Jewish prayer for eating bread. We don't have one for falling out of space!

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: Now you're gonna want to slowly switch lanes.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Because there are only two, and you're not in either of them.

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