Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 40 of 59

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Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Penny: Oh, Howard, I can't believe Bernadette let you go to a fancy party wearing a dickey.
Howard: Excuse me, my girlfriend doesn't pick out my clothes. My mother does.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Howard: I wish my mom was here. We could all hang out in her shadow.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: All right, what if we use this two-inch PVC to reinforce the center cross-support?
Howard: No good. I mean, it might work for the Japanese and the Americans, but have you seen the size of the Russians they've got up there? The thing has to hold up against a hearty potato-based diet.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: But don't you think it will be different when the child is ours?
Bernadette: Right, when it's our kid that has ruined my body, and kept me up all night, and I've got no career and no future, and nothing to be happy about for the next twenty years. Sure, that'll be completely different.
Howard: Well, yeah.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: I'm thinking one way to counter bias in the peer-review process is for papers to be submitted under gender-neutral names. Like S. Smith instead of Samantha Smith.
Sheldon: I supposed there is a history for professional women using their initials so as not to be pre-judged. Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.
Howard: Van Nuys pole dancer D.D. Melons.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: It's nice of your old school to let us try out our science talk on some female students.
Howard: Well, they're actually pretty excited. I'm their most famous alum. If you don't count the serial killer who ate all those prostitutes.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Girl: So you just flew around? That's kind of like my uncle. He's a flight attendant.
Howard: No, I'm an American hero. Your uncle brings people nuts, okay?

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Howard: Bernie's a little cranky since she's been working, like, seventeen hours a day. And I've got a lot on my plate, too, because I've been busting my tail playing Assassin's Creed.

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Leonard: Wow. How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
Howard: Apparently, if you're Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Leonard: I gave it a lot of thought and I decided it was time for us to live together.
Howard: Leonard, huge mistake. There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just standing in the corner eating the same devilled egg over and over again.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Howard: Wait a minute, Farminfarmian is speaking and you're bogarting the symposium?
Leonard: Howard, I'm sorry. We're-
Howard: No, no. You're quark-blocking us.

Quote from the episode The Habitation Configuration

Howard: Boy, if these walls could talk.
Leonard: They'd say, why does he touch himself so much?
Howard: Yeah.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Howard: I have a girlfriend now.
Priya: Hey, good for you.
Howard: Yeah, I just wanna put it out there in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Howard: Look, there are plenty of bars in Los Angeles where you can order grasshoppers and chocolate martinis, but you wouldn't have to because there are no women in them.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Leonard: How about those two?
Howard: Nah, they're eating peanuts. My allergies, one kiss would put me in Cedar-Sinai for a week.

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