Howard: Hey, uh, so we've been talking, and if you need a place to stay, we'd be happy to fix up the garage for you.
Raj: That would be amazing! I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, trying to pick one to live in.
Howard: I know it's not ideal, but you'd have plenty of space for your furniture, and there's this cool button that makes an entire wall go up and down.

Raj: Thank you, Sheldon. It's a blank notebook.
Sheldon: I had some of my best ideas in that room, and I'm sure you will, too.
Howard: He also never had sex in that room. That's something else to look forward to.

Howard: Never should've had all these kids so close together.

Leonard: I mean, they didn't say anything, but I just kind of felt like I was being a weird third wheel.
Howard: Huh, so you can tell what that feels like. Interesting.

Howard: You should be happy someone wants to do the stuff with Penny you don't want to.
Bernadette: Yeah, I wish I had that with Howard.
Howard: Wait. What? What do I make you do?
Bernadette: Let's see: the magic store, the Doctor Who convention, the National Belt Buckle Collector's meet and greet.
Howard: It said right there on the invitation, "Buckle up for fun." It's not my fault you didn't listen.

Howard: Hey, what's for dinner?
Bernadette: Meatloaf.
Howard: (half-heartedly) Oh, cool.
Bernadette: Stuart made it.
Howard: (upbeat) Oh, cool.

Bernadette: I just don't know what the right thing to do is. If I go back to work, I'm abandoning Halley. If I don't go, I'm giving up everything I worked for. It's like there's no right choice.
Howard: Look, I don't know what the best decision is, either. But whatever we choose, if we're not happy, we can undo it.
Bernadette: I guess.
Howard: And the best part is: Halley won't remember a thing. (laughs) Babies are cute, but they're dumb.
(chuckles) I mean, I go like this, she thinks I'm gone. Then magically I'm back. I mean, honestly, why are we saving for college?
Bernadette: I'm not crazy about you calling our baby dumb.
Howard: Well, she gets it from me.

Bernadette: It would be nice to raise Halley to be a little more independent than you were.
Howard: I guess. It wasn't until college that I learned you can put a thermometer in your mouth.
Stuart: On that charming note, dinner is served.

Bernadette: Okay, sweetie, Mommy's gonna go to work now, so you have fun today.
Howard: I told her if day care is anything like prison, find the biggest baby and knock him out.

Stuart: Guess who's home from day care?
Howard: It's Halley. Unless somebody else put an "X" on the bottom of their kid's foot.
Bernadette: You realize they called when you took her.
Howard: (singsongy) Guess who's home from the aquarium?

Howard: Now, this is rare. I don't know which one of you I want to stop talking first.
Sheldon: The theory is that if you really tax your brain, the neurofibers will become thicker and the glial cells more lustrous.
Raj: Like JLo's hair.
Howard: Boy, it is neck and neck right now.

Leonard: So you think it's fine if she works for Zack?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe.
Raj: Well, he is much more attractive than Leonard.
Howard: Yes, but that's gonna be true of a lot of guys she works for.
Leonard: Yeah, but she also used to sleep with Zack.
Howard: Again...

Leonard: Now, before we field test, I think we --
Howard: What the hell?
Leonard: Where is everything?
Sheldon: Who else has access to this room?
Leonard: It's a secure lab in a classified facility; only the U.S. government and us.
Sheldon: This is very disconcerting.
Howard: But the movie did just get good.

Howard: I mean, an entire year wasted.
Bernadette: You might be forgetting another accomplishment of the past year.
Howard: Oh. Yeah, yeah, we brought life into the world.
Bernadette: Really? That's the importance you put on us having a baby?
Howard: I'm happy about it, but, I mean, it's not like I did much. I mean, after the first three minutes it was pretty much all you.

Leonard: Wait, isn't she the grad student that used to follow him around?
Howard: Oh, yeah. Back before he hit puberty and grew man parts.