Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 5 of 77

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Quote from the episode The Donation Oscillation

Raj: Uh, if you still want to go, you can go to India and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi.
Howard: Indian sushi? I need a change of underwear just thinking about that.

Quote from the episode The Donation Oscillation

Raj: So, this week would have been my wedding if Anu and I hadn't decided to slow things down.
Howard: Oh, yeah, I would have forgotten, except for those nonrefundable airline tickets to India I bought.
Raj: I'm sorry.
Howard: No, no. What's $3,000 between friends? Yeah, I probably would've just thrown it away on health care for my children.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Bernadette: So we just fill out the form and that's it?
Nathan: Oh, no. No, you need to fill it out, and then you need to bring it down to the Office of Code Compliance. Now, if your neighbors don't have a permit, you can file an official complaint, but if they do have a permit, then you have to make the case that the balcony constitutes a nuisance, an encumbrance or an encroachment, and you have to decide which, because they are three totally separate forms.
Howard: This is starting to seem like more trouble than it's worth.
Nathan: I know, right?

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Howard: So, is there anything we can do?
Nathan: Absolutely. Do you know if they have permits for the balcony?
Bernadette: Oh, no. We were hoping you could check.
Nathan: I certainly can. I just need you to fill out a form, and we have them available in Armenian, Chinese, Cambodian, English, Farsi, Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese.
Howard: Well, English, obviously.
Nathan: Well, we're not allowed to presume. That was a whole other meeting.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Nathan: Now, how can I help you?
Bernadette: Our neighbor built a balcony that looks right into our backyard, and we're trying to see if there's anything we can do about it.
Nathan: Well, you have come to the right place. You know, a lot of people handle this type of thing online, but I always say nothing beats the human touch. Oh, but don't worry. I'm not gonna actually touch you. We had quite the informative meeting on that.
Bernadette: We just want a little privacy in our backyard.
Howard: You know, for (clicks tongue)... Maybe we should've done this online.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Howard: And then Andy said if we want privacy, we should plant some trees. The only way I know how to do that is to give a dollar and tree shows up in Israel.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Howard: And his new balcony looks right down on our hot tub, which meant we couldn't do anything.
Raj: So you gave your kids Benadryl for nothing?
Howard: Why do I share with you? You're such a yenta.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Bernadette: So, can you turn your lights off?
Andy: Sorry, they're motion-sensored. They'll go off in a minute. Just try to stay still.
Bernadette: (door closes) What are we gonna do about this?
Howard: I say we wait until his lights go off, and then I make hot, motionless love to you. Don't move. It's go time.

Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation

Andy: Howdy, neighbors! We haven't met yet. I'm Andy.
Bernadette: Oh. Hello. Nice to meet you. You know, your new balcony kind of looks right over our fence.
Andy: You might want to put up some trees. We can see everything.
Howard: You can, but it's okay if you don't.

Quote from the episode The Confirmation Polarization

Sheldon: Uh, can you believe this? Doctors Pemberton and Campbell have been doing a press tour trying to take credit for super-asymmetry. They didn't even know what they were finding.
Raj: So what? I mean, no one's gonna give them credit for accidentally discovering something.
Howard: Yeah, who remembers the guy who was trying to find India and discovered America instead? What was his name again?

Quote from the episode The Propagation Proposition

Raj: She says the only reason I'm marrying her is because all my friends are married, and I don't want to feel left out.
Howard: Oh, that's nonsense.
Raj: No. She's right.
Howard: (quietly to Bernadette) Now what do I say?

Quote from the episode The Propagation Proposition

Leonard: You've come to a giant metal door.
Sheldon: I check the door for traps.
Leonard: There are no traps.
Howard: I use my wizard eye to see what's on the other side of the door.
Sheldon: Hey, that's sort of like how you used a doorbell camera to spy on your fiancee.
Raj: No, it's nothing like that.
Leonard: Your wizard eye reveals a monster.
Howard: Oh. Is it alone and unloved?
Leonard: I guess.
Howard: I open the door and say, "Hey, Raj."

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Denise: Okay, guys, we need some people to stay here and guard the flag and some people to move out and try to capture theirs.
Leonard: Okay. Sheldon, do you want to stay here and?
Sheldon: What? Hold down the fort? 'Cause that's all I'm good for. Is that what you were going to say?
Amy: You know that's not what he meant.
Sheldon: Oh, why don't you go out there? Maybe you'll be the neurobiologist who revolutionizes paintball.
Amy: Stop it. You're being ridiculous.
Sheldon: Am I? Maybe it's just my poor people skills.
Amy: Oh, it's definitely your poor people skills.
Howard: All right, the choices are get shot at or stay here and listen to them fight.
Leonard, Denise and Howard: Shot at.

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Howard: He's got bags. He's probably just delivering food.
Raj: Why is she hugging him?
Bernadette: Maybe she doesn't have tip money?
Raj: Wait, why is she inviting him into the house?
Howard: She's a good tipper?

Quote from the episode The Paintball Scattering

Howard: Sounds fun. Bernadette and I are in.
Raj: You don't need to ask her?
Howard: No. I've been pretty annoying lately. She's gonna want to shoot me.

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