Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 5 of 60

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Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Sheldon: You know, studies have shown that people distracted by emotional issues are poor drivers.
Howard: What about people distracted by irritating passengers?
Sheldon: That would be hard to test, because irritating is a subjective quality.
Howard: Strongly disagree.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: Sheldon, what am I gonna do? I mean, what do I know about raising a boy?
Sheldon: What do you know about raising a girl?
Howard: Oh, my God, you're right.
Sheldon: Well, I don't know if that was sarcasm or not.
Howard: So, either you're welcome, or hey!

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Bernadette: Howie, there's a lot of amazing things you can teach a son.
Raj: Yeah. You do always know how to pick just the right antacid.
Howard: I don't know if I can teach that. It's just something I was born with.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Howard: Oh boy, I was afraid of this.
Leonard: What?
Howard: These instructions are a pictographic representation of the least imaginative way to assemble these components. This right here is why Sweden has no space program.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Howard: Haven't you ever been told how beautiful you are in flawless Russian?
Penny: No, I haven't.
Howard: Get used to it.
Penny: Yeah, I probably won't.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Penny: Hey Raj! (silence) Still not talking to me, huh?
Sheldon: Don't take it personally. It's his pathology. He can't talk to women.
Howard: He can't talk to attractive women, or in your case a cheesecakescented Goddess!

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Howard: Yeah, I thought about renting this apartment, but I'm really more of a downtown loft kind of guy.
Alicia: Cool. So are you in a loft now?
Howard: Oh, actually I'm, uh, living with a woman in Altadena. Purely platonic, she's also my maid.
Alicia: Sounds like a sweet deal.
Howard: I won't lie, it's pretty dope.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: Howard, Bernadette was there last night. Did she say anything when she got home?
Howard: Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell those idiots where I was? Thanks a lot."

Quote from the episode The Higgs Boson Observation

Howard: I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't sleep, and zero gravity is giving me crazy acid reflux. I'm down to my last three Tums.
Bernadette: You're going to be fine. You survived that Weight Watchers cruise with your mom. And they ran out of low-fat ice cream on day two. Just calm down and take a few deep breaths.
Howard: Okay, okay. What am I doing? I'm using up all the oxygen. If I die, promise you'll never have sex with another man.

Quote from the episode The Higgs Boson Observation

Howard: Hey, Bernie? Before you go, can you do something for me?
Bernadette: What do you want me to do?
Howard: Okay, here it is. I really miss gravity. Can you drop something so I can watch it fall?
Bernadette: Really, you're serious? Okay. (Drops a pencil)
Howard: Oh, baby, you're killing me.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Howard: They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again.
Bernadette: I thought he passed away.
Howard: He did. He was cremated, and his remains were put in a baking soda volcano.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Howard: Give me the bottle. I mean, it might be a little corny, but I say we pour one out for all the science homies who came before us.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Raj: So, what do you want us to do?
Penny: I don't know. You're scientists; cheer them up.
Howard: "Cheer them up"? Do you even know what a scientist is?

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Howard: There's Leonard. I'll bet he's having a rough day.
Raj: Let's just try to be supportive.
Sheldon: Supportive? He publicly maligned the love of my life, Lady Physics.
Howard: You might not want to mention that to Lady Fiance.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Raj: Okay, calm down. Everybody just cool it.
Howard: No, let 'em go. If we get lucky, maybe one of them will start crying.

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