Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 5 of 66

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Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Raj: What's your mom going to say if you call off the wedding?
Howard: Huh, it'll kill her. On the other hand, if I don't give her grandchildren, that'll kill her, too. So, either way, on the Mom front, I'm golden.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Bernadette: Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
Howard: Yeah. I started when I was a teenager. I thought I could show a girl a few tricks and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
Bernadette: Did it work?
Howard: Ah, let's just say the only wand that ever saw any action was this one.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: Completely empty box. If you'd like to examine it?
Leonard: Mm-hmm. Yep. I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
Howard: Little snarky there, cello lessons.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: Honey, babies don't always come on their due date. Halley was two weeks late. [seeing Bernadette's stare] But this baby's a boy. They don't take as long to get ready.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: I'm not gonna fight her. That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: Those are the only other people you invited? What about the kids from the Daddy and Me class?
Howard: Oh, grow up.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: You really saved the day.
Raj: Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley.
Howard: And I'm sure she'd appreciate it, if she knew what's going on or who you are.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: I'd really like to be there.
Howard: Great, 'cause it's tomorrow, and I need you to plan it.
Raj: What?
Howard: Stuart was gonna help, but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy, and he jumped on it.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: So-so-so you're just apologizing because you need something?
Howard: Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it.
Raj: Well, that's very insulting.
Howard: Right again.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Are you gonna help me or not?
Raj: No, I will not help you. (sighs) But I will help Halley. She's my goddaughter, and I love her. And I have a lot of party favors left over from Cinnamon's birthday, so I hope she likes things that squeak when you chew on them.
Howard: Sh-She's a human being, not an animal. But that actually would be a hit.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Great. Can you bring a few things?
Stuart: Sure. What do you need?
Howard: Balloons, streamers, ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter, and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and say they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to.
Stuart: Where do you and Halley go every week?
Howard: The important thing is we're together, and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Hey, guys, there's a change of plans. We are having a party for Halley's birthday after all. Turns out Bernadette and "anyone who's not a heartless monster" thinks that's the right thing to do.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: Are you kidding me? You're not gonna invite me to Halley's birthday? I'm her godfather; that means something.
Howard: Or - hear me out on this - it doesn't.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Leonard: Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?
Howard: Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, and (clears throat) I'm lazy.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: You're a grown man; act like it.
Raj: Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.
Howard: Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.

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