Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 56 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Leonard: Howard, could I borrow some after shave?
Howard: Black case, top compartment.
Leonard: That is a lot of cologne.
Howard: First row are your musks, second is wood, leathers and botanicals, third is assorted pheromones, tread lightly.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: Howard, Bernadette was there last night. Did she say anything when she got home?
Howard: Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell those idiots where I was? Thanks a lot."

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Raj: If Bruce Banner's driving a rental car and turns into the Hulk, do you think he's covered, or does he need to add the Hulk as an additional driver?
Howard: You really need a girlfriend.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Howard: Would you like me to play some Polish music while you carry her to the toilet?
Bernadette: You are a putz.
Howard: As advertised.

Quote from the episode The Higgs Boson Observation

Bernadette: How you doing, Howie? You feeling a little better?
Howard: Oh, a lot better, thanks. One sec. Listen close, I don't have a lot of time. I need you to go to my house. In my bedroom, you'll find a model rocket. I want you to take it and bring it back to your place.
Bernadette: Okay.
Howard: Step two, build a version roughly fourteen stories high. Fill it full of rocket fuel and come get me. I'll leave the door unlocked.
Bernadette: Howie, honey, maybe you should talk to someone, let them know you're having a little anxiety.
Howard: No, no, I'm fine. No anxiety. We should probably talk in code. From now on, frog is me, sandwich means you and lemon means rocket. So, come on, sandwich, build me a lemon 'cause froggy wants to come home.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Hey Mike?
Mike Massimino: Yeah.
Howard: I changed my mind. I don't want to do this.
Mike: Good one.
Howard: Yeah, I'm a funny guy. I also have a hysterical bit planned for later where I pretend to cry through the whole launch.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Look, I was going over the schematics on my zero-G toilet, and I made a teeny tiny mistake on the specifications for the diverter valve.
Leonard: How teeny tiny?
Howard: It's gonna fail after about ten flushes.
Sheldon: But the mission is for six months.
Howard: Yeah, see, that's the code red. It's kind of like a jack-in-the-box, no one knows exactly when, but at some point something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: Have you notified NASA?
Howard: No. Are you crazy? What am I gonna say? I screwed up your toilet and pretty soon there's gonna be crap floating all over your nice shiny space station?

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Mike: Hey, Froot Loops, want to hit your fan switch?
Howard: Check.
Dimitri: He calls you Froot Loops because of your very gay haircut?
Howard: No, it's 'cause I live with my mom and she makes me Froot Loops.
Dimitri: Go with gay story, people are more accepting of that.

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Howard: Well, we appear to have reached an impasse. And you know, I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Close your eyes. Put out your hand. I got you something special.
Bernadette: Come on, Howard. I'm not falling for that again.
Howard: No, here.
Bernadette: Oh, Howie. A little star, it's beautiful. Put it on me.
Howard: Okay, but I'm going to have to get it back from you so I can take it to the International Space Station. That way, when I come home, you will have a star that was actually in space.
Bernadette: Oh, my God.
Howard: Take that, every guy who's ever bought you anything.
Bernadette: This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten.
Howard: Really? Well, if you like it that much, then close your eyes and put out your hand.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Howard: I wish my mom was here. We could all hang out in her shadow.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Howard: Now, inside, we've got motion detectors, infrared sensors, and cameras connected to a server running state-of-the-art facial recognition software.
Leonard: Where did you get all this stuff?
Howard: I got a buddy over at the Department of Defense.
Leonard: He just gave it to you?
Howard: I'm sure he would have if I had asked. Ironically, their security isn't all that good.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Howard: Okay, challenge them again.
Leonard: Doing it right now. Oh, they can't. There's an important Little League game tomorrow.
Howard: No wonder they beat us, they're jocks.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Sheldon: I think you should turn on the GPS.
Leonard: It is on.
Sheldon: But the turn-by-turn voice option isn't on. I know I'd feel more safe if you turn on the turn-by-turn voice option. I love the turn-by-turn voice option.
Howard: Has it really only been ten miles?

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