Leonard: Really, you guys do not need to throw me a going-away party.
Howard: Are you kidding me? How often can you say bon voyage to somebody when they're actually going on a voyage?

Howard: I'm proud of you, Leonard. Working out on the North Sea for months, that's really something.
Leonard: I know. As far as science goes, this is the adventure of a lifetime.
Howard: Maybe your lifetime. I went to space.
Leonard: It's not a competition.
Howard: You're right, you're right. I'm really proud of you, and I'm gonna miss you when you're gone. And space beats water.

Howard: It was really nice of you to try to be happy for Leonard.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Howard: It must've killed you when I went to space.

Howard: Well, pulling a quarter out of your ear isn't the only magic these hands can do. In fact, what's this between your toes?
Bernadette: Can you please stop making money come out of me for two minutes?

Howard: It's like we have a butler. If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.
Bernadette: You have a Batsuit.
Howard: It's pajamas, there's no cape.

Howard: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Raj: Everything okay?

Howard: He's just decided that he'll never leave his apartment ever again.
Sheldon: Oh, good, I've been itching to pull that trigger.

Howard: Hey, look at that. You've got a Raj, we've got a Stuart. Maybe we should take them both to the park and let them run around together.
Leonard: I don't know. Yours looks like he has worms.

Howard: Uh, this is Howard Wolowitz for Colonel Richard Williams.
Raj: Oh, I take it back, don't mention me.
Howard: Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you? What? Oh, uh, yes, he is from India. No, I don't know his immigration status. (Raj looks panicked.)
Howard: (To Raj) Relax, I'm still on hold!

Leonard: You realize if the military declares our research classified, they can take the whole thing away from us.
Howard: And if that happens, we'll never be able to sell it commercially.
Leonard: There goes our big payday.
Howard: I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.
Leonard: You do that, too?
Howard: Oh, yeah. How do you think I stay this thin?

Howard: Give me a second to call my cousin.
Sheldon: I don't see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale could be helpful regarding intellectual property.
Howard: First of all, he's in Boca Raton, which is better than Fort Lauderdale. But more importantly, he lasted two days on Jeopardy, so he's clearly a smart guy.

Leonard: I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some?
Sheldon: Uh, you're really going to have caffeine in front of me when I'm trying to get my life back on track?
Leonard: Uh, okay, let's pretend you do have a problem.
Sheldon: I do.
Leonard: You don't.
Sheldon: Yeah, but I do.
Leonard: No, you don't! But let's say you do. And don't say you do, because you don't! Now, wouldn't you think that throwing yourself into your work would be the best way to deal with it?
Sheldon: With what?
Leonard: Your problem.
Sheldon: I thought I didn't have a problem.
Howard: That was painful to watch.

Bernadette: Let me see the sonogram again. (laughs) Oh, yeah, that's a good-looking baby for a little gray blob.
Howard: Yeah, we could name him Blobert.
Bernadette: What if it's a girl?
Howard: Bloberta. Or Blobbi with an "I."

Howard: Who's ready for a hot, three-hour car ride to the desert?
Bernadette: Next vomit is gonna be in your lap.
Howard: I'm sorry. We don't have to go.
Bernadette: But it's our last chance to take a vacation that's just the two of us.
Howard: How 'bout we stay here? We don't even have to tell anyone. It'll be like a secret vacation at home.

Bernadette: Keeping secrets from our friends. That does sound kinda fun.
Howard: Does it sound sexy?
Bernadette: You just heard me throwing up.
Howard: You bet I did.
Bernadette: You're so weird.
Howard: You know what's weird? How turned on you are right now.