Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 57 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Howard: You know, Sheldon, you don't have so many friends that you can afford to start insulting them.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Registrar: Folks, can I have your attention. It's five o'clock, we're going to be able to take three more couples. The rest of you will have to come back on Monday.
Bernadette: Oh, no.
Howard: I got this. Excuse me, but is there any way you could squeeze us in? See, I'm an astronaut and I'm leaving for Russia on Sunday so I can take a Soyuz rocket to the International Space Station.
Registrar: Yeah, me, too. I'll see you there.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: Do you believe him? Normally around women, he has the personality of a boiled potato. Put one beer in him, and he's M. Night Charmalarmalon.
Leonard: Is that what he's drinking? It's not even real beer.
Howard: What?
Leonard: Look at it. Non-alcoholic beer.
Howard: What's going on?
Leonard: I don't know. Some sort of placebo effect, I guess.
Howard: Placebo, you say. Interesting.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Howard: Oh, come on. So you were the victim of a crime. That's part of life. When my great-grandfather first came to this country, he put all his hopes and dreams into this little butcher shop he ran on the Lower East Side of New York. You know what happened? Every customer who walked into that butcher shop and asked for a pound of liver, got ripped off. But, those people moved on, and so should you.

Quote from the episode The Platonic Permutation

Elon Musk: Oh, look. Someone hardly touched their pumpkin pie. Want to share it with me? Howard: A partially eaten piece of pumpkin pie from a homeless shelter with Elon Musk? You bet I do!

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Howard: Yes, yes, I've been doing my push-ups. I'm still stuck at nine, but that's going all the way down with no one holding me.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: Hi, I'm the small package good things come in.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: There's fuel leaking and we're still going to go?
Mike: Don't lose your Froot Loops, Froot Loops.
Dimitri: This happens a lot. Nine times out of ten, no problem.
Howard: What happens on the tenth time?
Dimitri: Problem.

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Howard: Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh! Im not gonna die in space! Im gonna die the way God intended, in my late 50s, with a heart full of pastrami.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Bernie, I have to go pick up my mother. I'll be right back.
Bernadette: Why can't she drive herself?
Howard: She doesn't want to sit in her dress and wrinkle it so I'm going to lay her down in the back of my neighbor's van.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: And did you know the word "pumpernickel" comes from the German words pumper and nickel, which loosely translates to fart goblin?

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Ma, you want to move your chair over here so you can see?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I'm fine where I am. I don't want to fall off the roof.
Howard: You'll fall through the roof before you fall off it.

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Howard: I wasn't worried.
Raj: You weren't?
Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek. I live it.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Penny: What the hell is that?
Howard: Meatloaf.
Leonard: What was it doing on the ceiling?
Howard: That's classified.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Leonard: Look at us. Getting ready for a double date with actual women who publicly acknowledge they're our girlfriends.
Howard: Yes, actual women are the best.
Sheldon: I don't understand. What other kind of women are there?
Leonard: Howard, artificial women are your department. You want to take this?
Howard: No, it would just freak him out.

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