Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 57 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Howard: (To Bernadette) A Catholic girl like you wearing a big cross like that might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Wolowitz: Puppies, how do you stand on puppies?
Bernadette: A puppy once bit my face!
Wolowitz: Of course it did.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: Yeah, I really wish I could, Penny, but every year my mother has all the relatives over and cooks up her famous tur-briska-fil.
Penny: Tur-briska-fil?
Howard: Turkey stuffed with a brisket stuffed with gefilte fish. It's not as good as it sounds.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: Okay, guys, think, how do we keep Raj in the country?
Penny: (from outside) Why doesnt he just get another job?
Howard: (Raj whispers to Howard) What are you asking me for? I don't know if you can talk now or not.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: I'm really going to miss you.
Raj: Will you come visit me in India?
Howard: Gee, that's, like, a 17-hour flight. How about I meet you halfway?
Raj: Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of Japan.
Howard: Tell you what, we'll Skype.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Howard: Okay, I guess I can hang for a little while. So what are we watching? Sex and the City. Yikes.
Penny: Hey, I happen to love this movie.
Howard: Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Raj: Are you seriously going to deface your body just for the possibility you could have cheap sex with a strange girl you met in a bar?
Howard: Uh, yeah!
Raj: What is your mother going to say?
Howard: She's not going to see it. She takes my temperature orally now.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Wolowitz: They're called tattoo sleeves. Put them on, have freaky sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced, take them off, and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Wolowitz: Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped, but that's not the expression.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: What's the matter, you chicken?
Sheldon: I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not by nature at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Raj: Chickens can't climb trees.
Sheldon: Thank God.
Howard: Okay, I believe the chicken made you his bitch.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: Could you look at Toby?
Crawley: Toby? What a stupid name for a cricket.
Sheldon: (To Howard) Told you.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Leonard: It's not a matter of opportunity. We're getting to know each other. There's a learning curve.
Howard: What's there to learn? You get naked, do nasty things to each other, then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami. Easy peasy.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Howard: Damn it! I should've gone over and told her we were back.
Raj: Yeah, it was first come first serve.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Wolowitz: I would like a slippery nipple.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Howard: (Southern Accent) If y'all don't mind, I got a hankering for a lone star beer.
Mary: There's no alcohol in this household, stop talking like that, and lose the hat.
Howard: Sorry, I'll take a diet yoo-hoo if you have one.
Mary: You'll take a Coke.

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