Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 58 of 66

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Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: Do you believe him? Normally around women, he has the personality of a boiled potato. Put one beer in him, and he's M. Night Charmalarmalon.
Leonard: Is that what he's drinking? It's not even real beer.
Howard: What?
Leonard: Look at it. Non-alcoholic beer.
Howard: What's going on?
Leonard: I don't know. Some sort of placebo effect, I guess.
Howard: Placebo, you say. Interesting.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: Hi, I'm the small package good things come in.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: And did you know the word "pumpernickel" comes from the German words pumper and nickel, which loosely translates to fart goblin?

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: You know the old saying: pasty and frail never fail.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Sheldon: I think the time has come to acknowledge that we are paying the price for some of us failing to attend my Physics Department paintball strategy meeting.
Howard: I told you, my mom has spider veins. I had to take her to the laser clinic.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Howard: Court-martial, shmort-martial, Leslie Winkle is the fifth girl I've ever had sex with. I mean, for free.
Raj: And plus, you got a rapid prototyper. That's an expensive piece of equipment, dude.
Leonard: And the rest of us have had our budgets cut to the bone.
Howard: Okay. One way to look at this is I'm getting new equipment and you're not, and that's unfair. But a better way to look at this is that I'm getting sex and you're not, and that's delightful.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Howard: Don't come in, Ma.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Why not?
Leslie: He's got company.
Howard: Oh, there's the arrhythmia.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Is she Jewish?
Howard: Are you Jewish?
Leslie: No.
Howard: Yes!

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Howard: So, Dr. Hofstadter, Leonard rarely talks about his incredibly successful brother and sister.
Leonard: Please, don't go there, Howard.
Howard: I understand that unlike Leonard, they're at the top of their respective fields.
Leonard: Boy, you suck.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Leonard: Why are you doing this?
Howard: You know the rules. You brought your mom to work, you must suffer.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Sheldon: Leonard, I had no idea your siblings were so much more successful than you.
Raj: Yeah, you're like the Jar Jar Binks of the Hofstadter family.
Howard: Oh, meesa think yousa lookin so, so sad.
Leonard: You know, rather than mock me, my friends might realize that this is difficult and try to help me through it.
Raj: Nope, I think mocking you is more fun.
Howard: Next time, don't yousa bring mama to work. Okee-day?

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Beverly Hofstadter: It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Howard: Say what?

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Leonard: Here you go. Oh, you owe me another two dollars. The price of mu-shu pork went up.
Howard: It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew.

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Howard: Ugh. This mu-shu pork is burning a hole through me duodenum.
Raj: Leviticus 11:3 "Only that which parteth the hoof and cheweth the cud among the beasts shall ye at."
Howard: Hey, do I mock you with the Bhagavad-Gita every time you scarf down a whopper?

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Howard: Maybe we should have your head notarized.

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

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