Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 58 of 67

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Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Howard: 1. I lost my virginity to my cousin, Jeanie. 2. It was my Uncle Murray's funeral, we were all back at my Aunt Barbara's house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen. 3. To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed. Oh, cousin Jeanie.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Howard: (To Bernadette) A Catholic girl like you wearing a big cross like that might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Howard: All right, Raj has played his Phantom Warlord card and I am going to back him up with my strangling vines. (Playing card, making gesture to Leonard) Choke on that, sucker.

Quote from the episode The Pulled Groin Extrapolation

Bernadette: Good Morning, handsome.
Howard: Good morning, mom.
Bernadette: It's me!

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: What's the matter, you chicken?
Sheldon: I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not by nature at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Raj: Chickens can't climb trees.
Sheldon: Thank God.
Howard: Okay, I believe the chicken made you his bitch.

Quote from the episode The Vengeance Formulation

Howard: (Singing) Bernadette, I am so sorry for... trying to propose to you. Bernadette, you found it creepy, but... that's just the kind of thing I do...Aaaaaaaaahhh. I know now it's too soon to talk of love, it was just a crazy idea that came to me in my tub. Bernadette, give me one more chance, Sweet Bernadette. I'll get the hang of this thing they call romance, Sweet Bernadette. I dream to once again kiss your lips, Sweet Bernadette. Sincerely Yours, Howard Wolowitz! Bernadette. (Song Ends) Thank you, Cheesecake Factory.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Howard: (To Bernadette) Come on, I don't wanna eat lamb stew with my mother. (To himself) Damn, was this close to the bra.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Howard: It's not enough you get the prom queen, you have to get the head of the decorating committee, too?

Quote from the episode The Vengeance Formulation

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard! What are you doing in there?
Howard: I'm taking a bath.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I hope that's all you're doing, we share that tub.
Howard: Don't remind me.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Howard: Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy, they're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say "Howdy".
Sheldon: Bosoms would not have said "Howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they would've said "Huzzah".
Howard: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon, I just want to be part of the conversation.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Mrs. Wolowitz:What's going on? Are you boys rough housing?
Howard: We're just talking, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: If you don't settle down right now, I'm not gonna let you have any more sleepovers.
Howard: For God's Sake, Ma, I'm 27 years old. And it's not even a school night.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Raj: He was a lot more fun when he no hope.
Howard: Give him time.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Raj: Tag, you're it!
Howard: Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: (On the phone) Howard, I'm sick.
Howard: (Hesitating, Imitating Mrs. Wolowitz) Howard's sleeping, this is his mother. Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?
Sheldon: I need soup!
Howard: (Imitating Mrs. Wolowitz) Then call your own mother.

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